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Entertainment

The sports have never been later at night — we propose a modest solution

El Tráfico was a blessing. Yes, it was thrilling to see Carlos Vela and Tyler Boyd exchange golazos before Raheem Edwards demonstrated why the LA Galaxy are truly "The Meme Team" by launching a throw-in into his own box, but what really highlighted the match was being able to watch it all unfold on a lazy Sunday afternoon — an entirely forgotten timeslot since MLS moved to Apple TV.

As everyone who follows the league is familiar with by now, MLS has transitioned to almost exclusively playing on Saturday nights. There are a lot of benefits to "appointment viewing," and the glut of simultaneous action has given rise to the MLS 360 experience.

But it's frustrating to have such a condensed and limited viewing schedule while also acknowledging that if you've got any other plans for Saturday night, then you're not watching any MLS this week. It'd be pretty rich to label sitting on the couch and watching soccer "demanding," but the league is also really asking fans to prove their undying loyalty with this schedule.

Take Minnesota United's next three fixtures for example:

  • Apr. 22 vs. Seattle Sounders | Kick-off at 9:30 p.m. CT
  • Apr. 30 vs. FC Dallas | Kick-off at 8 p.m. CT
  • May 6 vs. Vancouver Whitecaps | Kick-off at 9:30 p.m. CT

I know we all get giddy and salacious when we attach the words "After Dark" to any viewing experience, but whatever happened to "During The Light?"

What I've discovered is this recent phenomena isn't limited to MLS in America. Maybe my Loons example gave it away, but I'm one of those people cursed to a lifetime of following Minnesota sports.

Both the Minnesota Timberwolves (NBA) and Wild (NHL) qualified for the playoffs, and their games have really hammered home how our nation's love of sports and TV has created a monster that never sleeps.

On Sunday night, the Timberwolves vs. Denver Nuggets game didn't tip-off until almost 10 p.m. CT. Over on TNT, Charles Barkley complained about the lateness of the hour with some valid points. 

On Monday night, the Wild and Dallas Stars played a double overtime game that didn't end until early Tuesday morning because the puck dropped at 9 p.m. CT. That's really over the top for round one, game one.

And I know a lot of you are thinking exactly what Shaquille O'Neal said in his response to Barkley: "Take your old ass home."

I get it; it's not that late. Besides, I've always wanted America to embrace later lunches, dinners and night owls — basically to become more like Spain about these things.

And I'm not here to rally against our overlords of entertainment, the professional leagues and broadcast networks. They took complete control of everything a long time ago and there's no turning back, so I'm not here to demand changes. I'm a realist and I've thought of a more modest proposal.

If, as a nation, we're all going to be honest with each other and come to an agreeable understanding that between the hours of 6 p.m. and 1 a.m. we're going to be consuming our sports, sports, sports on a ceaseless loop, then it's time for American society to think about the toll that takes on the following workday.

What we need is the adoption of a siesta — a two to three hour lunch break that allows us to collectively recover the sleep we lost while watching Minnesota and Vancouver play to a 1-1 draw. The candidate who runs a "siesta time for sports fans" election platform in 2024 deserves to be heard.

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