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The Keeper Went To Kick The Ball As Usual. He Was Crushed By What He Ended Up Doing.

This is a classic own goal, and it’s really unfortunate that that’s a thing. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen a goalkeeper go to clear a back pass only to find the ball hopping just above their foot. A piece of grass or turf is the culprit, and that almost makes it worse.

It just takes an unbelievable amount of bad luck for a kicked-up lump of grass to land in a spot where it could pop a ball in to the air. If the universe could talk, it would whisper “f*** you” every time it happens. 

The latest victim victim of this brand of classic own goal is Bayer Leverkusen’s Bernd Leno. True to form, his defender passes the ball back to him nonchalantly, and then the universe spoke. 


The frustration written all over his face is well founded. Chances are he has seen this same type of classic own goal happen to other keepers before. I am more than willing to bet that his first thought once the ball crossed over the line was “WHY? WHY ME?”

Some of the more notable instances of this classic own goal include Paul Robinson’s blunder for England against Croatia. Gary Neville passed the ball back to him and then, well, the most England thing ever happened.


Then there are some variations on the theme. For instance, you don’t always need a stray piece of grass to make a back-pass go horribly wrong. Sometimes the pass itself is just a disaster waiting to happen.  For instance, if you send the ball towards your own net in the air, bad things will eventually happen. 


If there's a moral to this article anywhere, really, it's that you shouldn't pass back to the goal if you can help it. I know plenty of people do it, and that it's a great way to relieve pressure, but people also used to drill holes into their own heads to relieve headaches for those same reasons.

classic own goal: just like trepanning, it sucks that it's a thing.

And we don't do that any more, now do we.

Follow me on Twitter: @yetly

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