Tuesday marked the beginning of a new era, with Twitter doubling the character count for most Western-language users. (Japanese, Korean and Chinese users will stay at 140 because their languages convey more per character.) There were countless bad jokes across the globe as everyone felt compelled to tweet about the fact they had something that everyone else had.
Soccer is the beautiful game and the most popular sport in the world. We know you like it because you’re reading about it right now. But there’s one thing missing from soccer that is ever present in most team sports: a clock counting down to the end of a match.
Borussia Dortmund’s sobering 3-1 home defeat to Bayern Munich on Saturday contained only two redeeming qualities according to BVB manager Peter Bosz: the support of the club’s famous Yellow Wall and the play of 19-year-old American attacker Christian Pulisic.
Borussia Dortmund lost to Bayern Munich in Der Klassiker Saturday, 3-1. However, that one for Dortmund was set up by intrepid American hero Christian Pulisic nutmegging Arjen Robben inside-out.
The Bartra finish was pretty, but how about that nutmeg by Pulisic?? https://t.co/LWEH30eLva
— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) November 4, 2017
Look, we all have those days. Those days when nothing goes right. Those days when our heads, for whatever reasons, are just not in it. They are elsewhere, in the clouds perhaps. Mainz goalkeeper Robin Zentner had one of those days Saturday when he went to kick the ball and found that OH NO THE BALL IS NOT THERE.
Somehow, via some kind of witchcraft and/or sorcery, Borussia Monchengladbach did not score on this play, so Zentner was (sort of) vindicated.
Bur goodness, y'all.
Bobby Wood spent an anonymous 56 minutes on the pitch last weekend in Hamburg’s 2-1 defeat to Hertha Berlin, consigning the club to 16th in the 18-team Bundesliga and opening Wood to fierce criticism from manager Markus Gisdol. Wood has started nine league matches for Hamburg this term, but he’s only managed a single goal. That was back in August.
There’s a little Ralph Wiggum in all of us. From the doofus who plays soccer with basketball shoes on to one of the best coaches in Europe, we can all relate to the rotund dimwit from The Simpsons from time to time. Jupp Heynckes should listen to the sage advice from one Ralph Wiggum: “My doctor said I wouldn’t have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger out of there.”