Central & South America

Typical Gold Cup: Bad Offense Trumped By Worse Defense For Panama And Nicaragua

Panama-Nicaragua was the 2017 Gold Cup in 90 minutes.

After a first half full of crap offense, crap defense took over in the second half and sparked the match to life.

Poor play on both ends typified what has been an underwhelming and CONCACAF’y Gold Cup with many of regions best players watching from home.

Ultimately, Panama pulled out a 2-1 win in what was quite literally an opening act for the USA-Martinique match. 

Alphonso Davies Is The Greatest Canadian Youngster Since Justin Bieber

Watching the Gold Cup the last couple of days, you feel a bit like Scooter Braun accidentally clicking on a YouTube video of a tween musician. 

Not since Justin Bieber was discovered at age 12 in 2007 has Canada had such a precocious young star in the making. Alphonso Davies may have only become a Canadian in the last couple months, but if he keeps scoring at this rate, he’ll soar to Bieber-esque heights. 

Davies scored the opener in Canada’s 1-1 draw with Costa Rica on Tuesday, the 16-year-old’s third goal in two Gold Cup matches. 

James Is Moving To Bayern Munich Because Apparently Carlo Ancelotti Is The Only Friend He Has Left

The James Rodriguez experiment at Real Madrid is all but finished. The 25-year-old Colombian attacker is moving to Bayern Munich on a two-year loan deal with an option to buy.

Not coincidentally, Bayern are now coached by the man who brought Rodriguez to Real Madrid in the first place, Carlo Ancelotti. Rodriguez moved to Madrid from Monaco after the 2014 World Cup, at which he won the Golden Boot, but he failed to consistently crack Real Madrid's starting lineup. Bayern Munich now have two World Cup Golden Boot winners, as Thomas Muller won the award in 2010.

Space, Turtles And Drake: Why You Should Root For The Gold Cup Underdogs

The Gold Cup doesn’t exactly excite quite like the Euros, Copa America or even the Confederations Cup. There are really only three, maybe four, quality teams and the chances of getting CONCACAF’d are higher than ever.

Even though odds are stacked in favor of Mexico or the United States winning in the end, there are reasons to watch the other 10 countries competing over the month of July.  

Lionel Messi's Wedding Was Just As Extravagant As You'd Think

Soccer's version of the Royal Wedding took place yesterday. Lionel Messi married his childhood sweeheart, Antonella Roccuzzo, in a ceremony in Rosario, Argentina. Everything was very extravagant. There was a red carpet.

Operating Room Reacts To Claudio Bravo’s Penalty Heroics During Surgery

Claudio Bravo’s heroics in net for Chile yesterday made for can’t-miss television as the reigning South American champions dumped out Cristiano Ronaldo’s Portugal in the Confederations Cup semifinals. The gravitational pull of international soccer was at the height of its attraction as evidenced by this operating room taking the time to watch the shootout.

Boca Reveal Bombonera Upgrade That Every Club Should Be Forced To Have

Boca Juniors celebrated their 32nd Primera Division title on Sunday with a 2-1 victory over Union de Santa Fe. They finished seven points above hated rival River Plate, and to add insult to injury, they unveiled a clock displaying and tracking their 112+ years of unrelegated existence.

The One Thing That Separates Argentine Empanadas From Portuguese Ones

Lionel Messi and Antonella Roccuzzo are set to marry on Friday, June 30 in a suburb of their hometown of Rosario, Argentina. Prior to the big day, the pair’s wedding menu, ermahgerd, leaked.

We’ve got some fine charcuteries for the Barcelona boys to dig into (soccer moms will tell you that not including Bagel Bites could make for a foul evening, especially with Luis Suarez in attendance), but it’s the Argentine empanadas that have got me all hot and bothered.

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