Champions League

Juventus arrived at the 2016-17 Champions League Final having surrendered only three goals in 12 matches. Thanks in large part to Lionel Messi, that total was matched in the 2017-18 edition of the competition after only one match, or 69 minutes to be precise.

Messi scored a fantastic brace and Ivan Rakitic added one of his own as Barcelona throttled an under-strength Juventus 3-0 at the Camp Nou to begin Champions League group play.

Serie A was struck by storms this weekend. While the United States was dealing with the horrors of the hurricanes, areas such as Livorno experienced their own extreme weather and loss of life. Miraculously, all but one match took place.

There were surprises. AC Milan faced its first real challenge and failed spectacularly. Fiorentina’s new-look side seemed to click and ran out 5-0 winners against a hapless Verona team. There were also more run-of-the-mill fixtures. Juventus won. Napoli won. Inter won. Fairly standard, really.

In an absolutely stunning revelation, UEFA announced Friday it has launched a financial fair play investigation into Paris Saint-Germain. 

Since Roman Abramovich bought Chelsea in June 2003, the London club has been known as one of the more extravagant spenders in the transfer market. But since shelling out $70 million to Liverpool for Fernando Torres in January 2011, the Blues have been fairly conservative in the transfer market in stark contrast to the rest of England.

This isn’t to say the Blues have stopped spending — in fact they’re spending as much as they ever have — but in a market where everyone else is paying massive sums for every player, Chelsea’s transfer business has stayed relatively the same.

Roberto Firmino is one of the best celebrators in Europe. Not only does he have the most bookings for excessive celebration (seven) since 2012/2013, Firmino puts his creativity to good use when thinking up celebrations.

Check out this gem from Liverpool's win against Hoffenheim Tuesday:

Nothing to say. Just Roberto Firmino living in his own little world pic.twitter.com/eyqKkNPOwU

Peter Crouch has got jokes. This has already been established, but Crouch re-established it after the Champions League draw Thursday when he saw Tottenham, his former club, had once again been drawn with Real Madrid.

Real Madrid for spurs . If they don't have an idiot sent off early they have a great chance

— Peter Crouch (@petercrouch) August 24, 2017

Can you hear it? Playing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again? It’s the Champions League anthem. The best thing to happen to Tuesdays and Wednesdays since Frasier went off air is nearly back. 

Thursday marked the Champions League group stage draw in Monaco but we know you only care about two things, so let’s get them out of the way.

Qarabag was drawn into Group C and Christian Pulisic is in Group H, with two more matches against Real Madrid in store, not to mention a date at Wembley. 

With Liverpool’s 6-3 aggregate pasting of Hoffenheim on Wednesday, the English Premier League put five clubs in the Champions League for the first time. That’s five chances for English fans to cry over their clubs failing to come through in the continental competition.

Chelsea won the Champions League in 2012 but since then English clubs have barely sniffed the final. In 2015, no EPL team even made it past the Round of 16.  The days of 2008 — when the EPL had three of the four semifinalists, including both teams in the final — are barely visible in the rearview mirror. 

Everyone loves a good hero. Jasmin Handanović was that hero on Tuesday night for NK Maribor in a Champions League playoff against Hapoel Be’er.

Holding on to a slender aggregate lead on away goals in the 90th minute, the Maribor goalkeeper came up with an incredible sprawling save to keep his team ahead. 

The Champions League group stage will begin next month. Until then, we must make do with the exploits of lesser-known clubs like Hapoel Be'er Sheva and Liverpool.

The former produced what is sure to be one of the goals of the season, a sweet volley from Anthony Nwakaeme.

We have an early candidate for goal of the season!