England

What does $60.25 million get you? How about $57.35 million? $47.25 million? If you’re Manchester City or Everton on Monday, not much — they’d have been better off with freebies. 

Big-money signings Kyle Walker, Gylfi Sigurdsson, Ederson and Jordan Pickford underwhelmed for their new clubs Monday and it wasn’t pretty. Free transfer Wayne Rooney and oft-forgettable Raheem Sterling scored in a 1-1 draw between Everton and Manchester City at the Etihad. 

Jack Wilshere has had a rough go. Unable to cement a place in the Arsenal first team because of injuries, Wilshere spent last season on loan with Bournemouth, and now the 25-year-old has found himself playing with Arsenal's U-23s.

Evidently, he is not happy about it. He is certainly not happy about something. 

Absolutely spectacular work from Jack Andrew Garry Wilshere pic.twitter.com/x8IuESm6Yq

Watford beat Bournemouth 2-0 on Saturday because Watford are better than most of us expected and Bournemouth are still bad. The Cherries can lay claim to the best play of the match, though, in Harry Arter's goal-saving shout at Nathaniel Chalobah.

Class from @HarryArter2 I could watch that all day  pic.twitter.com/VzDx1A4l8A

Chelsea got their title defense back on track with a massive 2-1 victory over Tottenham in their temporary Wembley home on Sunday. Wing-back Marcos Alonso scored the first ever Premier League goal at Wembley with a sweetly struck free kick, and with a 1-1 draw looking likely, he swept forward to score the winner in the 88th. 

Alonso’s piece of brilliance in the 24th minute was the highlight of an enthralling opening 45 minutes between two of England’s best sides.  

With a 1-0 victory over Newcastle United, Huddersfield Town rose to second place in the Premier League table, sitting behind Manchester United on goal difference alone. We’re only two weeks into the season, but the Terriers are off to an almighty flyer in the top division.

German-American coach David Wagner and his squad are Invincibles.  

This week’s result isn’t as eye-catching as their 3-0 win over Crystal Palace, but Huddersfield looked exceptionally more qualified for life in the Premier League than fellow newcomers Newcastle.

Like Winston Churchill in the face of endless hordes of German bombers, Gorilla is England’s great hope against three German competitors in semifinals of the FIFA Interactive World Cup, which was apparently trying to reenact the Battle of Britain on Thursday in London. 

Despite a disconnection in the first leg of the Xbox One division final, Gorilla took a stunning 6-0 lead into Friday’s second leg against CodyDerFinisher of Germany. In the PlayStation 4 final, Deto leads TimoX 1-0 after the first leg in an all-German affair. 

Few teams have spent money during this offseason as wisely as Everton. Few teams will see transfers make a smaller effect than Everton. Like the popular vote in a U.S. presidential election, it just won’t matter. 

The Toffees turned the expected sale of Romelu Lukaku into a number of marquee signings, breaking the club transfer fee record a couple times. Everton set the record again with the signing of Iceland international Gylfi Sigurdsson on Wednesday.