England

Four Clubs Enter, Only Two Survive (To Play In The Champions League)

After securing three points yesterday behind Emre Can’s wonder goal, Liverpool are primed to finish in the top four and qualify for the Champions League for the first time in three years. The Reds have a very manageable schedule down the stretch.

Christian Atsu’s ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Free Kick Technique Is A Game Changer

Christian Atsu is one of the horde of 30-something Chelsea players out on loan for all eternity. After impressing at Portugal’s Rio Ave, Chelsea shelled out £3.5 million for the 21-year-old Ghanaian winger and immediately loaned him to the extremely Chelsea-friendly confines of Vitesse Arnhem.

He played well there, but not well enough to make Pedro or Willian fear for their Chelsea careers. So off Atsu went, making loan stops at Everton, Bournemouth and Malaga while making headlines at the 2015 Africa Cup of Nations by scoring this banger.

Tottenham Clinging To Hope In EPL Title Race

With four games to play in the EPL season, streaking Tottenham trails Chelsea by four points in the title race. Spurs still have a chance to finish atop the table, but they can’t afford to give away any points down the stretch. Although Chelsea dropped two games in April, a favorable schedule bodes well for their title chances.

Tottenham will play three of their final four games on the road, and they certainly have the tougher schedule. Here’s a look at their remaining games:

West Ham (A)

Manchester United (H)

Leicester City (A)

Hull (A)

Jose Mourinho’s Anti-Football Peaks With Oafish Marouane Fellaini Red Card

It’s tragic to think about the gross output of the cast of characters in the Manchester derby when bridled with the vast sums of money spent on assembling them. The latest edition of Manchester United vs. Manchester City was a sobering affair that could serve as a harrowing documentary of the wastes of our time.

10 Reasons To Get Excited About Newcastle United's Promotion

After a year away from the spotlight (unless you include Jonjo Shelvey’s ban for racially abusive language, rumors of a fallout between Rafa Benitez and the boardroom over a lack of January spending and some other stuff), Newcastle United are back in the big leagues. We know you all missed the never-ending soap opera that is Newcastle, don't pretend you didn't.

For me, August can’t come soon enough, and you should be excited too. Here are 10 reasons to be stoked over the Toon’s return to the Premier League.

Landon Donovan Is Going To Make Swansea America’s Team, Like The Cowboys

Every club that’s had an extended run in the Premier League is a perfect example for the transitive property (If a=b and b=c, then a=c) that affects modern football: 

Zlatan Is In The U.S. To Meet With A Renowned Orthopedic Surgeon

Less than a week after suffering a torn ACL and possible damage to his PCL, Zlatan Ibrahimovic is scheduled to visit Dr. Freddie Fu at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. Dr. Fu is well known for pioneering the double bundle technique to repair ACL tears, the method that most effectively restores natural knee movement patterns.

Nemanja Matic Achieves Perfection With One Of The Greatest Hits In FA Cup History

Chelsea await the winner of Sunday’s match between Arsenal and Manchester City to contest the 2017 FA Cup Final after defeating Tottenham 4-2 in the semis. Two first half goals by Willian were canceled out by Harry Kane and Dele Alli, but Eden Hazard scored Chelsea’s match-winner in the 75th minute. Five minutes later, Nemanja Matic secured the victory with one of the best goals you’ll ever see.

The Serbian defensive midfielder hadn’t scored a single goal this year, but his maiden strike was an absolute banger.

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