Former Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has admitted to losing sleep and phoning Tonya Harding for advice over Liverpool’s appointment of Jurgen Klopp as manager. Well...maybe not. If Ferguson has been watching recent United matches, he’s not having any trouble sleeping. He might have Tonya's mobile number, though.
It’s been a season of stunning upheaval in the EPL. Leicester City have sat proudly astride the Premier League in November and boast the most lethal striker in the division in Jamie "chat s*** get banged" Vardy. The Chelsea team that won the league at a canter last season have become so accustomed to the bottom half of the Premier League table that they’re thinking of releasing a Drake-inspired charity single called "Started At The Top, Now We’re Here (In 14th)." But at least in this swirling maelstrom of change, we can rely on one anchor of stability: Arsenal are fourth.
It's hard to pick the greatest goal of Cristiano Ronaldo's career. I mean, the guy has scored over 500 goals over his 13 year career, so picking just one of them as the best is a tall task. But this long range rip against Porto back in 2009 has to be right atop the list. The younger CR7 has the onions to even attempt this shot, let alone pull it off. It almost makes you sad, because now as the quantity of his goals goes up, it feels like the quality has gone down. Yeah, i know the game is about putting the ball in the back of the net, but I can still be bummed about it.
Emblazoned across the wall at one of the Manchester City training gyms is the slogan “CREATE THE FUTURE.” With their massive outlay on player transfer fees, as well as over £200m spent on the Etihad Campus, a training and academy facility, the Citizens are hell-bent on global domination.
Funded by the seemingly limitless wealth of the Abu Dhabi United Group, the Sky Blues have become a dominant force in English football, winning the Premier League title twice in the last four years.
The beautiful game is constantly evolving and adapting with the times and technology on and off the pitch. A perfect example of this is the technology used by London and Premier League giants, Chelsea FC.
If you watched the Liverpool-Manchester City match on Saturday, the one thing you were probably thinking was, "what is going on?" A Kompnay-less Manchester City defense was shredded by Jurgen Klopp's bunch en rout to a 4-1 victory in the Etihad. All of Liverpool's goals vs Manchester City were beauties aside from the own-goal by Mangala. The Brazilian's for Liverpool were who stole the show though. Philipe Coutinho and Roberto Firminho each registered a goal and an assist to one another.
*Warning to readers with even a shred of dignity: do not read any further if you are offended by any and/or all references to Steven Gerrard's penis. Thank you.
Chapter six of Steven Gerrard's new book, "My Story," starts like this:
"The magic of the FA Cup was ruined the day my penis was bloodied and then stitched shut on an unromantic night in Bournemouth."
Radamel Falcao is not one of the elite scorers in world soccer anymore. In less than two years, he went from being one of the most feared strikers to, when healthy, just another scrub on the Manchester United and Chelsea benches.
For several months, Falcao has exhibited a low level of football and an impressive goal drought, a far cry from the player who scored 70 goals in 91 games with Atletico Madrid between 2011 and 2013.
Manchester United have been having problems at striker, with their only three options being possibly-over-the-hill Wayne Rooney, midfielder Marouane Felaini and 18-year-old Anthony Martial. That's why it seemed to many an unwise decision when they sold 27-year-old Mexican striker Chicharito Hernandez to Bayer Leverkusen during the transfer window.
Hernandez has been on fire for Leverkusen, scoring eight goals in his last six games, propmting one prominent Manchester United player, goalkeeper David de Gea, to question the decision to sell Chicharito.
There are two certainties right now in the world of football:
#1: Louis Van Gaal and Manchester United could really use some consistent goal-scoring right about now.
#2: Javier “Chicharito” Hernandez is on fire.
If you look closely enough at Hernandez during one of his now frequent goal celebrations, you’ll see there’s a glint in his eye. You know that glint that says: “stuff it, Louis Van Gaal!”