Fans

The MLS Playoffs are a lot of fun. I watched last Sunday’s nine-hour marathon of Conference Semifinal first legs, so you’ll have to trust me on that point. I say trust me because you did not. Don’t even lie to me. How do I know that? The attendance numbers have been dirt nasty so far (including season-low gate numbers at Toyota Stadium, Yankee Stadium and Rio Tinto . . . and yes, we’re talking about the playoffs vs. the regular season).

The prophecy has come true, Boca Juniors and River Plate will play in the Copa Libertadores final.

Oh boy, this is the ultimate soccer apocalypse. 

Over 100 years of ferocious rivalry meets in what the entire country highlights as the most important Superclásico of all time. Yes, that’s right, if you thought Barcelona–Real Madrid was the Clásico, this is the Superclásico: a reloaded, on steroids, bad mood version of a civilized European rivalry. 

Thanks to River Plate’s stirring comeback against Gremio and Boca Juniors taking care of business against Palmeiras, the world was granted the spectacle it craved — the first-ever Copa Libertadores final meeting between Argentina’s eternal Superclásico rivals.

An assistant referee was assaulted, a coach was hit with a coin and a fan punched a goalkeeper — just another Edinburgh Derby.

The Edinburgh Derby, the name for the match between Edinburgh-based Scottish clubs Heart of Midlothian and Hibernian, has been played since 1875. They’ve played 644 times (319 in competitive matches) with Hearts winning 282 (140). 

Wednesday’s match finished in a 0-0 draw and while no goals were scored, there was plenty of action. Sadly, most of the action was off the pitch. 

The MLS Cup Playoffs kicked off last night with matches at Toyota Stadium in Frisco and Yankee Stadium in the Bronx, and the attendance numbers were not good. It was, of course, Halloween night, which ruled out anyone with a kid, anyone attending a monster mash and anyone hellbent on finishing The Haunting of Hill House.