Freestyle

10-Year-Old Messi Was Freaky Good, Like, Freakier Than The Omen

No disrespect to Lionel Messi, but if your 10-year-old kid started doing this one day in the backyard, would you think “Gee, little Jimmy’s sure showing an inclination towards soccer” or would you think “Gee, little Jimmy may literally be the Devil incarnate”?

Based on a genetic family history more prone to madness than to footballing excellence, I’d opt for the latter. No disrespect to Messi, but if my son were doing this, I’d check for a weird birthmark and ask my local priest for seven sacrificial daggers. 

This Is, Without A Doubt, The Best Goal You’ve Never Seen Before

With six delicate touches, Leonardo created this masterpiece in 1995 while playing with Kashima Antlers in the Japanese J1 League. Still in the prime of his career, the attacker joined Kashima after the 1994 World Cup as a 24-year-old.

Brazil Confirm Absurd Squad Depth By Dropping Very Talented Supermarket Guy

It’s an exciting moment for the Brazilian national team. Since the appointment of manager Tite back in June of 2016, the Canarinho have won eight straight qualifiers by a combined scoreline of 24-2. Victories over the likes of Ecuador, Colombia, Argentina and Uruguay saw them become the first nation — outside of the hosts, Russia — to qualify for the 2018 FIFA World Cup.

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