Funny

Hazard Immediately Jokes Around With Pretend Injury After Being Sidelined For Past 81 Days

Real Madrid is one step closer to getting its money’s worth for Eden Hazard. The $113 million man is finally back in the squad after last playing on Aug. 7 in a Champions League defeat to Manchester City.

The Belgian’s tenure with Real Madrid has been marred with injuries to put it lightly. A broken fibula that required surgery saw Hazard sidelined for the majority of the 2019-20 campaign. The nightmare of a season for the Belgian saw him score one goal.

Dutch Club Plays Match At Full Capacity With 15,000 'Fans' In Attendance

Ajax’s 13-0 thrashing of VVV Venlo on Saturday was the big story from the Eredivisie over the weekend, but the demolition wasn’t the only incredible bit of action to take place in the Dutch league.

Viral Video Of Ridiculous LaLiga Flop Is Taking The Piss

A viral video has surfaced of an absurd flop during a LaLiga match between Cádiz and Granada earlier in October. 

Cádiz forward Iván Alejo must have got cocky after scoring in the 48th minute and felt the need to try for an Oscar Award for Best Actor. Alejo pulled out all the stops.

Goal! The Dream Begins: Santiago Muñoz Makes Santos Laguna Debut

Santiago Muñoz’s path to Real Madrid via Newcastle United is beginning! On Sunday, the very close namesake of the famous Goal! film series (Santiago Munez) logged his first Liga MX minutes with Santos Laguna during his side’s 2-1 win over Atlético San Luis. 

The Cleats In The Basement: A Youth Soccer Horror Story

My mom still despises me for choosing to be a goalkeeper. On top of smelly cleats, shin guards and socks, I add the horrendous smelling gloves to boot. In an effort to counteract the stench of my gear she has me store all of the belongings in a box downstairs during the offseason.

I guess it’s a bit of a win-win situation. She’s too scared to venture to the basement due to the slim chance of seeing a mouse, spider, ant or anything else alive that isn’t human. While it’s a slight nuisance to have to keep my stuff down there, she at least doesn’t pester me about the smell.

This Club’s Training Drills Must’ve Been Created By A 5-Year-Old

If I had a nickel for every time I wrote about fish soccer I would have ten cents, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice. I tip my hat to any readers who understand that reference.

Obscure nods to TV shows aside, I once again bring you the joys of fish soccer. This time around the humans are pretending to be slippery salmons seeking scoring success. Carlisle United, in England’s League Two, must have a child orchestrating the team’s recovery sessions. The players engaged in the most ridiculous “recovery” exercise I have ever seen.

Pepe Is The Dickhead We’d Send To Fight Mars’ Biggest Dickhead

Eyes bulging, brows knitted and limbs a collection of angular bludgeoning tools, Pepe came rumbling and tumbling toward Raheem Sterling in the back of the area after nearly committing a series of fouls with only one thing on his mind: to successfully commit a foul this time.

If there was an ounce of embellishment on Sterling’s part it was only in that he immediately recognized Pepe’s cruel intentions and tried to save himself. 

5 Activities Average Americans Are Definitely Better At Than Cristiano Ronaldo

Cristiano Ronaldo is a freak of nature whose abs could harness the power of Medusa and turn people to stone. He’s a fitness and fashion icon, debated G.O.A.T of the world’s most popular sport and has a past girlfriends depth chart for the ages. What is Ronaldo bad at? Is there anything us mortals could outperform the Portuguese god in?

2018’s Best Footballers Are Being Dropped, Dragged And Damned

Imagine, for a minute, that you've been in one long sleep since the summer of 2018. You wake up, think about all the plot holes in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, listen to the yodeling Walmart kid and then see it’s Tuesday, October 20th, 2020.

“Holy shit!” you scream. “It’s Tuesday — the Champions League is on!”

With memories of the 2017-18 season and the Russia World Cup dancing through your head, you start by turning on Juventus vs. Dynamo Kyiv. 

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