Goals

China’s Wang Shanshan scored the kind of goal that comes from crossing the DNA of Tobin Heath and Lieke Mertens in the EAFF E-1 Football Championship (the women’s football championship of East Asia) today. 

The sometimes defender, sometimes forward kept it poacher after South Korea cleared a Chinese corner in the 18th minute. However, the ball made its way back into the box with a clipped effort over the top, and Shanshan was there to apply the most impudent of touches to steer the ball inside the near post with her heel.

It's nice to know that at any moment Ronaldinho could be out there, somewhere, doing something outrageous in a charity match. It seems like he pops up every few weeks, does stomething outlandish then disappears into the ether, not to be seen or heard of until he pops up at another charity match to embarrass someone.

It's comforting, really.

Radamel Falcao clearly woke up this morning and decided he was done with everyone.

Done.

That's it. Finished.

In the 85th minute of Monaco's match against Caen Tuesday, Falcao plum ran out of fucks to give. He had also exhausted his backup supply of fucks.

Falcao looked like he was about to lay it off safely to a teammate like a good little target man but changed his mind at the last moment, said "screw it" and let fly with a beauty.

Let’s get straight to it. You’ve seen a goal like this before; it’s definitely Marco van Basten-esque. Seasoned Bournemouth striker Jermain Defoe utilized nearly 20 years of professional experience to produce the work of a master goalscorer on Saturday, hitting this instinctive but technically perfect half-volley against Crystal Palace in Premier League play.

Evolution does not stand still, unlike these Almeria defenders. Evolution moves inexorably forward, like Granada’s Darwin Machís. In a Spanish Segunda División match on Friday, Machís showed the next step forward in evolution with a thrilling solo goal.

Machís fooled one defender, took a ride on the HMS Beagle for about 20 yards and curled in a beautiful finish to double Granada’s lead early in the second half against Almeria, the goal nestling into the back of the net by the width of a finch beak.