Humor

One of these days, The18.com will run out of content, because one of these days, sculptors will stop creating horrible statues of

Jack Wilshere went ice skating last week and it was a news event.

Wilshere posted a picture on Instagram of him and his family ice skating, remarking that he managed to avoid injury. Jack Wilshere has a reputation for being injury prone and is at least a little self-aware.

What is the proper amount of celebrating to do after one wins the MLS Cup? I, personally, have never won the MLS Cup and as such cannot be considered much of an expert. Jozy Altidore, though, just won the MLS Cup on Saturday, scoring the first of Toronto FC's two goals against the Seattle Sounders. Jozy is a much more credible expert in terms of celebrating MLS Cup victories.

So, Jozy, how much celebrating should someone do if they win the MLS Cup?

If you win five Ballon d'Ors in your career, you get to customize the outside of an airplane with your various logos. I don't make the rules (yes I do, I make them up and then blog about them in hopes that you, the reader, will click and help keep me from having to get a real job).

Anyway, Cristiano Ronaldo won his fifth Ballon d'Or earlier this week, and celebrated by either getting on or getting off of an airplane adorned with his various logos. It was all very luxurious.

When 2016 ended, many Americans wondered how a year could get any worse. Then 2017 said, “Hold my beer.” The depressing U.S. soccer season will officially conclude with the MLS Cup final between the Seattle Sounders and Toronto FC on Saturday at BMO Field and it can’t come soon enough.

Let me first get this out of the way: To every outlet that live tweeted every single moment of the World Cup draw, STFU — you’re wasting precious Twitter space. Second, can we take a moment to make fun of everyone who made absurd overreactions during the World Cup draw?

Twitter by nature is a platform that encourages instant, raw reaction often at the expense of thoughtful dialogue. So let's give some raw reactions to Twitter's World Cup draw reactions.

A Cologne striker has finally scored — a role in a new movie. Peruvian Claudio Pizarro voices a character in the German-language version of the new animated Pixar film “Coco,” which is out now in a Kino near you (assuming you live in Germany). 

Pizarro is an old man nearing the end of his career on the pitch. He may have found a new calling with his voiceover role in “Coco,” which is about a young Mexican boy who is transported to the Land of the Dead during Día de los Muertos. The 39-year-old voices a skeleton who desperately wants to watch a soccer match.

Italy has gone over all Italian again. Chievo and Hellas Verona looked Italian cultural stereotypes dead in the face before their Coppa Italia clash Wednesday and decided "Yep, that's us" and exchanged wine and panettone (a type of Italian sweetbread) at the captains' meeting. We are not making this up.

During Chievo vs Hellas Verona today the two captains exchanged wine & panettone

This is literally the most Italian thing ever 

A little over a year ago, Renato Sanches was one of the hottest young commodities in European football. In 2016 he won the Portuguese Primeira Liga with Benfica and helped Portugal win the European Championship. On Wednesday, a Renato Sanches pass was so bad it nearly brought his coach to tears.