Lifestyle/Culture

Source Confirms Christian Pulisic Will Reflect On Year At The End Of The Year

For those of you wondering whether or not Christian Pulisic is rational and capable of completing basic mental exercises, an unnamed ESPN FC source has confirmed that in about 365 days, Pulisic will have been provided with an additional 365 days of experience from which to reminisce and reflect on, and he will do that.

Harry Kane's Blistering Form Continued Over The Summer

Any casual fan knows that Harry Kane has been a goalscoring machine since becoming Tottenham's main striker during the 2014-15 season. At just 24, he has scored 78 Premier League goals, and many pundits believe he has a legitimate chance of challenging Alan Shearer's record of 260 goals in the EPL.

Of course, Kane needs to stay healthy and in top form, but so far he's keeping pace (Shearer scored 81 goals in his first three EPL seasons, although he was one year older than Kane when he broke in to the division).

Cristiano Ronaldo Confirms Girlfriend Is Pregnant After Welcoming Twins Via Surrogate

The Ronaldo family is expanding faster than anyone ever imagined! It was only last month when Cristiano Ronaldo and girlfriend Georgina Rodriguez welcomed their new baby twins, Mateo and Eva, via surrogate.

Forget The Silly Season, This Is Wedding Season

Ahh summer. Warm sunshine, no school, beaches, vacations, international B teams competing for second-rate trophies and, of course, weddings.

It’s wedding season in the soccer world and trophy husbands are being tied down by women left and right. 

Lionel Messi is tying the knot (and eating empanadas) on Friday, so a couple English Premier League stars got hitched this past weekend so as not to be overshadowed by he-who-overshadows-everything in soccer.

The One Thing That Separates Argentine Empanadas From Portuguese Ones

Lionel Messi and Antonella Roccuzzo are set to marry on Friday, June 30 in a suburb of their hometown of Rosario, Argentina. Prior to the big day, the pair’s wedding menu, ermahgerd, leaked.

We’ve got some fine charcuteries for the Barcelona boys to dig into (soccer moms will tell you that not including Bagel Bites could make for a foul evening, especially with Luis Suarez in attendance), but it’s the Argentine empanadas that have got me all hot and bothered.

A German Club Offered Cristiano Ronaldo A Lifetime Supply Of Beer To Play For Them

German third division club Fortuna Koln have jumped into the fray regarding where international superstar Cristiano Ronaldo will play next season. Ronaldo is reportedly unhappy at Real Madrid, and is said to be looking elsewhere. Fortuna Koln have offered their services as a landing spot. They cannot pay Cristiano in money, however, so they have offered to pay him in beer.

Why Cristiano Ronaldo Will End Up Back At Manchester United

Unless you’ve been living in a penal colony in the outer reaches of Siberia for the last few days, bereft of internet and with only polar bears to converse with, you’re no doubt fully up-to-speed on the fact that Cristiano Ronaldo has “irreversibly” (his words) decided to leave Real Madrid.

Cristiano Ronaldo's Real Madrid Future In Serious Doubt After Tax Fraud Allegations

Accusations of Cristiano Ronaldo failing to pay $16.5 million in taxes have reportedly led to the Portuguese star telling Real Madrid club president Florentino Perez that he is prepared to leave the club.

Diego Costa And Antonio Conte Text Break Up Reminiscent Of 6th Grade Romance

We've all seen Diego Costa's crazy antics this season, from driving a John Deere on the training field to stealing cake at halftime from the press conference room. Although it bolstered Chelsea's internet presence, Antonio Conte was ultimately not impressed.

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