MLS

Major League Soccer is returning to Miami, the home of the league’s first expansion team and first contraction team. Nearly two decades after the Fusion folded, a celebrity infused group is making a Miami MLS team a reality, with David Beckham spearheading the project because nothing says Miami like a pale Englishman. 

In November of 2016, months after signing a one-year contract with Manchester United, Zlatan Ibrahimovic outlined his vision of one-upping Napoleon by accomplishing what the Emperor of the French could not: "I can see myself conquering the U.S. as I have with Europe. Lots of people stay in one place throughout their career, but I’ve travelled around like Napoleon, and conquered every new country where I’ve sat foot.

Cubo Torres has officially ended his MLS odyssey and returned to Mexico. The Mexico international scored 36 goals in 97 appearances for Chivas USA ('member them?) and the Houston Dynamo. He's headed to Pumas, currently at the top of the Clausura table.

Ballou Tabla is making history as the first academy player from the Montreal Impact to make a move to Europe. The 18-year-old attacking midfielder completed a transfer to Barcelona on Thursday. He’ll join Barcelona B.

For most sports in the U.S., the draft is a big deal. The NFL overblows the whole ordeal and American hand-egg fans eat that shit up like fried food at a state fair. The MLB draft is an exercise in endurance and patience but those who do it right can gain huge advantages. And no sport allows a team to change its direction through the draft more than the NBA. But the MLS SuperDraft is neither compelling nor necessary. 

Amidst an influx of impressive young talent coming to Major League Soccer from South America, the Bundesliga is raiding the U.S. for young players. So while American teenagers may not be having any luck breaking into lineups at home, they’re finding more opportunities in the league of the world champions. To steal a line from Taylor Twellman, what are we doing?