NFL

When Ryan Succop nailed a 51-yard field goal with just under three minutes remaining in the third quarter of Super Bowl LV, the game was effectively decided in favor of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, rendering the fourth quarter into nothing more than a giant advertising exercise for Paramount Plus. 

I’ll be honest: I actually get excited for the Super Bowl. I couldn’t care less about who is playing or even who wins; professional American football is for a different type of human. But give me an excuse to eat nachos, drink beer and ironically celebrate the grotesque capitalist society we’ve created and I’m all in. So when it comes to sports on that one special Sunday, it’s soccer or nothing. Fortunately, there’s more than enough soccer on Super Bowl Sunday to fill my appetite. 

The 2021 Super Bowl kickoff time is set for 6:40 p.m. ET on Sunday, Feb. 7 with NFC representative Tampa Bay hosting defending champion Kansas City at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, Florida. You don’t want to miss it because a little birdie told me that The Weeknd is set to be joined by Daft Punk, Kendrick Lamar and Ariana Grande during his halftime performance, although maybe I’m just telling you what I want to hear.

Spotify Wrapped dropped this month, showing listeners what songs and artists they looked up and listened to the most (my number one artist was Don Toliver if you’re curious). If Google had a similar wrapped project, I guarantee you that “crazy soccer flares” would’ve been in my top 100 searches for all of the past five years.

There’s something about a wall of fire that is exceptionally intimidating to look at. Any time — prior to 2020 that is — I see fans of South American or European clubs ignite their flares and sing rapturous chants I get envious.

Soccer players kicking field goals should be a no-brainer. I firmly believe that becoming a kicker in the NFL is a viable back-up career for soccer players that retire or don’t make the cut. Look at Cairo Santos — he was born in Brazil and initially wanted to become a soccer player. That dream died and then boom, he transferred his abilities to American football and will now make $1 million this season kicking for the Chicago Bears.