Quotes

According To Dad, Thiago Messi “Is A Phenomenon,” Mateo “A Son Of A Bitch”

We’ve got it, we’ve pinned down two-year-old Mateo Messi’s future on the pitch. After graduating from La Masia summa cum laude, the phenom will replace a 45-year-old Sergio Busquets in Barcelona’s holding midfield role, because, according to father Lionel, Mateo is “un hijo de puta.” He’s a real mean sumbitch.  

Thomas Muller Doesn’t Share Your Love For All Things PSG, In Fact He Finds It Annoying

Bayern Munich star Thomas Muller has called into question everyone and everything following his side’s 3-1 defeat of Paris Saint-Germain on Tuesday.

Zlatan-Adriano Partnership Remains One Of Modern Football’s Greatest What Ifs

When Zlatan Ibrahimovic arrived at Inter Milan from Juventus for nearly $30 million in August 2006, the 24-year-old Swede was thrilled over the possibility of forming a devastating and prolonged partnership with 24-year-old Brazilian striker Adriano. The two had dominated Italian football since 2004, and the Nerazzurri looked set to rule the competition for years to come with two of the world’s most feared young forwards.

Sunderland Fan In Shitstorm After Drunkenly Mistaking Seat For Toilet

Newcastle United supporters have long referred to Sunderland’s Stadium of Light as the Stadium of Shite *shoots finger guns*, but that genius-level pun was taken to a seemingly literal level on Saturday after 17-year-old season ticket holder Callum Mawson was accused of shitting in the stands during his club’s 3-1 defeat to Reading.

Chucky Lozano Says He Wants To Play With Messi Someday

Mexican international winger Hirving "Chucky" Lozano is lighting the Eredivisie in his first season in Europe with PSV. The 22-year-old has 11 goals in 14 appearances in all competitions for the Dutch side, and from the looks of it he's just getting started.

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