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Turan And Umtiti Keep It 100 When Assigning Each Barca Player An Emoji

I thought this video was going to be terrible. Most of these club videos featuring two players playing a lighthearted game are unbearable — things feel forced, it looks like it’s the first time the players have ever talked to each other and they want to go home.

But Samuel Umtiti and Arda Turan are really good at assigning their teammates specific emojis. Maybe it’s because we use emojis way too much, maybe it’s because the nearly telepathic understanding Barcelona players seem to share lends itself to little activities like this, but Umtiti and Turan aren’t messing around.

Cristiano Ronaldo's Mother's Day Tweet Scared The Hell Out Of Me

Cristiano Ronaldo scared the hell out of me this morning. I was up watching Arsenal vs. Manchester United and idly scrolling through twitter when I saw this:

Bastian Schweinsteiger Is The Banter King Of Chicago

When Argentine Chicago Fire forward Luis (Lucho) Solignac left his phone unlocked, his new teammate Bastian Schweinsteiger knew just what to do with it: remind the Argentine, and his followers, who won the World Cup in 2014.

It was Germany. Germany won the World Cup in 2014. Bastian Schweinsteiger played in that game. Lucho Solignac didn't but you can imagine he had a rooting interest just the same.

Cristiano Ronaldo's Son Hits Free Kicks Just Like Dad

Given Cristiano Ronaldo Jr's father is one of the best footballers in the world — and, indeed, of all time — we should not be remotely surprised at the content of this video.

Zlatan Says He Will Come back Stronger From His Knee Injury

Zlatan is injured. We didn't know Zlatan could get injured. We thought he was impervious to harm. We thought he was immortal. We were wrong. Zlatan is injured.

Zlatan is injured so badly it's feared his career could be over. One person, at least, doesn't think Zlatan is anywhere near the finish line. That person is Zlatan.

Cristiano Ronaldo Would Like To Sell You A Canadian Tuxedo

Cristiano Ronaldo is always hawking something. My favorite is the blanket, but you could talk me into the undies. Actually, those WERE my favorites until today, when the Cristiano Ronaldo Canadian tuxedo arrived.

For those of you who are not very cultured, a Canadian tuxedo is a suit of clothing made of all denim. Like this:

Sergio Ramos Claps Back After Gerard Pique Flames Real Madrid

The war of words between Gerard Pique and Real Madrid reached ESPN FC comment section levels of villainy with Sergio Ramos taking the time to respond to Pique’s latest trolling effort.

Pique has previously insinuated that Real always get an easy draw in the Champions League, that Real’s expulsion from the Copa del Rey last season was hilarious and that Alvaro Arbeloa is a cone — this is pretty much a regular thing from him. 

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