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The Best MLS Bloopers Of 2017 Video Will Start Your Weekend Off Right

What a wild ride the 2017 MLS regular season was. The league, for all its various shortcomings and absurdities, is incredibly exciting and ever-growing in quality. However, for all of its maturation and development, there’s still a brilliant charm to MLS that’s long since left Europe’s biggest leagues and the likes of the NFL, NBA and MLB. 

Caleb Porter Reportedly Out As Timbers Coach, USMNT Rumors Swirl

In a league where parity reigns unlike any other, the tenure of Caleb Porter as manager of the Portland Timbers will go down as one of the most wildly successful in Major League Soccer’s 22-year existence. According to reports, that tenure has reached a shocking conclusion — by mutual consent — after a season in which the Timbers finished at the top of the Western Conference.

San Francisco Deltas Pull Off Rare Double: Win NASL Title And Dissolve In Same Week

Here’s a pro tip for all you executives out there who want to run a professional soccer league: make sure your best team doesn’t disband the same week it wins the league championship. 

Speaking of, it’s been one helluva week for the San Francisco Deltas — henceforth to be referred to as NASL’s bottle rockets. The Deltas came, they saw, they conquered then they got the hell out of Dodge, all within a span of two years. 

Jozy Altidore Suspension Upheld, “Snitchin” Kljestan’s Conscience Remains Clear

In the end, the snitches didn’t get any stitches. Jozy Altidore believed that video evidence would clear him of any wrongdoing during the tunnel bust up between Toronto FC and New York Red Bulls, resulting in red cards for both Altidore and Sacha Kljestan, but an independent panel has upheld Altidore’s one-game suspension after being unable to find enough evidence to overturn the ruling.

We Joked, But The U.S. May Actually Host A Tournament Of World Cup Rejects

We joked about it a month ago, the idea of the U.S. hosting a summer tournament full of all the nations who were too cool to actually qualify for the World Cup. Turns out, U.S. Soccer is actually looking into doing just that. 

USMNT Keeper Ethan Horvath Drops Hilarious Howler vs. Portugal

Oh sweet baby Jesus, won’t you please just make this 2017 USMNT horror show stop? Can’t we just be done with it until, say, 2019 or 2020?

At halftime in Portugal vs. U.S., it’s been a tale of two decidedly different things, although both have to do with players that pundits around the nation plugged into their “GUARANTEED 2022 World Cup Starting XI” article.

19-Year-Old Weston McKennie Scores On His USMNT Debut vs. Portugal

As far as debuts go, it doesn’t get any better than this. 19-year-old Texan Weston McKennie, fresh off breaking into Schalke’s first team in the Bundesliga and earning his first cap for the USMNT, put his country ahead against the world’s third-ranked side, Portugal.

FC Cincinnati Gets MLS Shirt Sponsor, Isn’t Actually In MLS

There’s a proverb or two that probably apply here, something about counting eggs before they hatch or putting the cart before the horse. But this is Major League Soccer, where allocation money and salary caps make fools of us all and expansion is the single greatest boon to owners’ pocketbooks since skyboxes. So really, this is business as usual.

#SaveTheCrew Movement Gets Support Of Brewery With $1.25 Billion Valuation

Back before Anthony Precourt invested in the Columbus Crew in 2013, the Crew had a decidedly punk feel. Prior to going with a Bundesliga-inspired crest that’s actually quite nice, the Crew boasted the most ruffian logo in all of American sports with three dudes wearing construction hats beneath a giant stylization of the word “Crew”. It was hardcore, a tradition that’s been vociferously kept alive by the Nordecke supporters’ group and all who’ve given their voice to the #SavetheCrew movement.

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