WTF

USMNT Player Ratings vs. El Salvador (Based Entirely On How Muddy They Got)

I do not envy the USMNT kit person on Tuesday night. Let’s hope they brought plenty of stain remover.

Jordan Morris scored a 91st minute header as the USMNT salvaged a 1-1 draw with El Salvador in the Concacaf Nations League on Tuesday night at Estadio Cuscatlán in San Salvador. A bigger story than the result was the mess of a field the match was played on, with rain turning an already poor pitch into a cow pasture by the end of the night.

Hulk Smashes 70 MPH Free Kick Off The Post Like Only He Can

Despite turning 36 at the end of July, Brazilian legend Hulk still packs as much power as ever, particularly in his concussive left foot.

Although the nation of Brazil is free of weapons of mass destruction, it still possesses the key technologies needed to produce nuclear weapons — the science is all stored in Hulk's left.

Paris Police Chief Says He Invented Fake Tickets Number But Fully Stands By It

PARIS - The Paris police chief said on Thursday that he might have been wrong when he said up to 40,000 Liverpool fans tried enter the Champions League final with fake tickets and that there was no scientific evidence to support the claim.

Didier Lallement added during a hearing in the French Senate that the police action around the match between Liverpool and Real Madrid at the Stade de France was a "failure" both because fans were harmed and the image of France was degraded.

Disgraced Ex-FIFA Boss Sepp Blatter Too Ill To Testify At His Fraud Trial

BELLINZONA, Switzerland - The trial of former FIFA president Sepp Blatter and French footballing legend Michel Platini over alleged corrupt payments ground to a halt on Wednesday when Blatter said he was too ill to testify.

Swiss prosecutors accuse the pair, once among football's most powerful figures, of unlawfully arranging a payment of $2.08 million in 2011. Blatter and Platini both deny the charges. But Blatter, looking frail during the hearing at the Federal Criminal Court in Bellinzona, said he was unable to address the court due to chest pains.

Last-Second Jersey Delivery By Way Of Moped Allows Match In Brazil To Proceed

On Tuesday night in Brazil's second division, ninth-place Náutico was scheduled to host Vasco da Gama in Recife with kickoff set for 6:00 p.m. ET.

But 13 minutes past the scheduled hour, Náutico had still not emerged from its dressing room while Vasco da Gama and the referees had already taken the pitch.

Giant Sinkhole At Austria-Denmark Match Is A Bit Concerning

There's no time like the present to increase your audience by splicing together whatever it is your doing with the global Stranger Things: Season 4 phenomenon, and the national teams of Austria and Denmark tapped into that golden content on Monday during a Nations League match at Ernst Happel Stadion in Vienna.

It began with the flickering of lights — goddamn Vecna up in here — and a power outage that delayed kickoff by 90 minutes. Fans tried to illuminate the pitch with cellphones to get the action started, but after that failed they did the wave.

Catarina Macario Ruled Out Of World Cup And Olympic Qualifiers With ACL Tear

United States women's national team midfielder Catarina Macario announced Sunday that she sustained an ACL injury in Lyon's final match of the season.

The injury will keep Macario off the pitch for the USWNT's 2023 World Cup qualifying and Olympic qualifying matches in July.

Controversial, Soft Penalty Call Gives Hungary First Win Against England In 60 Years

BUDAPEST — A second-half penalty from Dominik Szoboszlai earned Hungary a shock 1-0 win over England in the Nations League on Saturday - their first victory against Gareth Southgate's side in 60 years.

The hosts kept coming and made their pressure count as Szoboszlai converted from the penalty spot in the 66th minute after Zsolt Nagy was fouled by Chelsea defender Reece James - a decision which incensed the England players.

Offside Trap Fail! Andorra Gives Us A Tutorial On How NOT To Do An Offside Trap

The UEFA Nations League has plenty of haters, including some players who hate the tournament.

Alan Pardew Leaves Coaching Job Because Club’s Fans Are Racist

Former Newcastle United and Crystal Palace boss Alan Pardew has quit as manager of CSKA Sofia after fans of the Bulgarian top-tier side racially abused their own players, according to a statement on CSKA's website on Wednesday.

Pardew took charge as CSKA manager in April but resigned after some fans threw bananas at Black players from their own team and targeted them with racial slurs before a home game against Botev Plovdiv on May. 19.

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