Youth Soccer

The majority of youth soccer parents support their children to the ends of the Earth. Seeing your child score their first goal or make a great save is an indescribable feeling. That being said, there are still moments when you really wish you could be anywhere else than a U-11 boys soccer game.

Unless waking up at the crack of dawn to drive two hours and sit in a field full of goose shit is your kink, being a youth soccer parent can be a pain sometimes.

Here are five thoughts that youth soccer parents have had that they definitely won’t tell their children about.

SubSoccer is probably one of the greatest inventions ever for footballers to work on their foot skills without having to stand up. This sit-down table football game was developed in Finland and it needs to be installed under every table in the U.S.

This would be a great way to keep customers occupied while waiting for food and drinks or even a great date idea. Obviously now would not be the best time to have people barefoot and touching the table top, but it would definitely draw a lot of attention. It is good for all ages and a fun way to get everyone playing football. 

Corner kicks are a nightmare in youth soccer games. Half of the time the ball is sent into the penalty box a wild game of pinball ensues. After several missed headers, seven failed clearances, 10 deflections and five whiffs, the ball eventually lands right at the feet of an attacking player who pokes it in with their toe.

There is no rhyme or reason for how corner kicks will play out at the youth level. As long as the corner delivery makes it into the box then only the soccer gods will know how things will play out.

My mom still despises me for choosing to be a goalkeeper. On top of smelly cleats, shin guards and socks, I add the horrendous smelling gloves to boot. In an effort to counteract the stench of my gear she has me store all of the belongings in a box downstairs during the offseason.

I guess it’s a bit of a win-win situation. She’s too scared to venture to the basement due to the slim chance of seeing a mouse, spider, ant or anything else alive that isn’t human. While it’s a slight nuisance to have to keep my stuff down there, she at least doesn’t pester me about the smell.