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The decision to describe a goal as a candidate for the Puskas Award is frequently abused. There can only be 10 nominees in a given year, so you should choose your moments to describe a goal as Puskas worthy very carefully.

I’m going to go ahead and play one of my Puskas cards for the year on this unbelievable solo effort from Colombian Juan David Valencia. It’s a great goal, and it’s a great goal with many different layers and subtleties — this goal could win an Oscar.

If we had the resources, I would’ve recreated this goal in clay animation, but our clay animation studio is not finished yet. We are sending Sam Klomhaus out to procure clay so I can begin.

Marcel Schafer’s leg just reminds me of Gumby. I’ve never seen a leg move like that and not been sick to my stomach at the outcome. He’s got Gumby ligaments or ligaments like Street Fighter’s Dhalsim. 

Wanna hear a joke?

It’s the 75th minute in a Bundesliga match between Borussia Monchengladbach and FC Cologne with the score level at 2-2. Gladbach manager Dieter Hecking withdraws Jonas Hofmann and puts on Josip Drmic in the hopes of finding a match-winner.

Five minutes later, Lars Stindl puts Gladbach ahead and the bench goes ballistic. Hecking immediately switches his focus to defending their one-goal lead for the final 10 minutes. He sees Hofmann, the midfielder he just substituted, and begins barking instructions on staying compact.