All Things Mexico

Did that game even exist? Do I even exist?

Gary Lineker once said soccer is a simple game, 22 men chase a ball around the field and in the end the Germans win.

The Germans weren't at the CONCACAF Gold Cup match between Mexico and Jamaica, so in the end nobody won. Instead, 22 men chased a ball around a field and really that was it. Not much happened. Cubo Torres banged a header off the post and many players from both sides fell down holding their faces. And that was it.

Tecate is a fine beer — it's great on a summer Sunday afternoon. It’s just not for Italian tastes.

Juventus announced Tuesday it is pulling out of the Super Copa Tecate 2017, a slate of preseason friendlies Tecate scheduled for next week in Mexico. 

Mexico goalkeeper Memo Ochoa is staying in Europe after his contract with Spanich club Granada has run out. The 31-year-old will ply his trade in Belgium next season for Standard Liege.

As with any transfer, various fan groups tweeted out ther excitement for the new arrival. One Standard Liege group need to work on their photo selection.

Mexico fans were not super excited with the way El Tri ended their run at the Confederations Cup. A 4-1 defeat to Germany in the semifinals followed by a 2-1 defeat to a Cristiano-less Portugal in the third place game left most folks feeling Mexico should have been more competitive.

Mexico were, however, still capable of moments of magic, as Marco Fabian proved with the consolation goal against Germany, which was named the goal of the Confederations Cup.

Elias Hernandez had himself one helluva time on Sunday night against El Salvador, scoring a goal with a vicious volley and assisting on both Hedgardo Marin and Orbelin Pineda’s strikes. 

El Salvador pulled one back through Nelson Bonilla to briefly level the match at 1-1 in the 10th minute, but Mexico were deserved winners with a controlled display of mesmerizing passing. El Tri maintained 66% of possession while completing their passes at a 90% clip, including 82% in the attacking half.

30-year-old Mexico international Andres Guardado has transferred from PSV Eindhoven to Real Betis and signed a contract that’ll reportedly run until 2020, ending Los Angeles FC’s pursuit of the midfielder for their debut season in Major League Soccer.

After getting thrown out of the Confederations Cup third-place match against Portugal (which Portugal won), Mexico manager Juan Carlos Osorio has been handed a six-match ban by FIFA.

Osorio took issue with an incident between Pepe and Hector Moreno in front of the Portugal goal, in which Pepe appeared to push Moreno to knock him off balance while heading the ball. Moreno's header went wide, and Osorio appealed for a VAR replay. When he was denied, Osorio flipped out.

The Gold Cup cometh, and with disgraced former CONCACAF president Jeffrey Webb no longer around to taketh, the 2017 edition of the biennial championship of the North, Central American and Caribbean region promises to giveth in abundance.

Beginning with a titanic clash between French Guiana and Canada on Friday, July 7 and culminating on Wednesday, July 26 with the final in Santa Clara, California, we’ll be treated to three weeks of CONCACAF’y tomfoolery.