Analysis

Can you hear it? Playing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again? It’s the Champions League anthem. The best thing to happen to Tuesdays and Wednesdays since Frasier went off air is nearly back. 

Thursday marked the Champions League group stage draw in Monaco but we know you only care about two things, so let’s get them out of the way.

Qarabag was drawn into Group C and Christian Pulisic is in Group H, with two more matches against Real Madrid in store, not to mention a date at Wembley. 

With Liverpool’s 6-3 aggregate pasting of Hoffenheim on Wednesday, the English Premier League put five clubs in the Champions League for the first time. That’s five chances for English fans to cry over their clubs failing to come through in the continental competition.

Chelsea won the Champions League in 2012 but since then English clubs have barely sniffed the final. In 2015, no EPL team even made it past the Round of 16.  The days of 2008 — when the EPL had three of the four semifinalists, including both teams in the final — are barely visible in the rearview mirror. 

Real Madrid are going to win La Liga. It's better to come to terms with this now so you can actually enjoy the season. If you go into the season thinking someone else might have a chance and Real Madrid open up a 10-point lead by Christmas, you are going to be disappointed. So ward off the disappointment. Barcelona are depleted and Atletico Madrid are plucky but outgunned. Real Madrid are going to win La Liga.

This is fine! Lots of people enjoy the Bundesliga even though they know Bayern Munich are going to win. You can still enjoy the season even if you know how it ends already.

Before Neymar came along and threw a wrench into the machinery, Barcelona's big transfer project for the summer was finding a long-term replacement for aging (but still devilishly good) midfielder Andres Iniesta.

Obviously, the Neymar business changed things, as evidenced by the fact that Barcelona are flinging cash at any attacker in Europe with two feet and a pulse. They seem to have abandoned the hunt for a new number 10. And, no, Paulinho doesn't count.

The fallout from Chelsea’s home defeat to Burnley to open their Premier League title campaign has been swift. In fact, you could say the situation had been pretty neatly summed up after the opening 43 minutes at Stamford Bridge. 

With Gary Cahill sent off, Burnley had shocked the world by cruising to a 3-0 lead behind a brace from Welsh striker Sam Vokes, a player more used to terrorizing Championship defenses than the reigning English champions.

I had a coworker at a previous job who always told me no one is irreplaceable. The company has been there for years and it will continue to be there for years, so don’t think for a moment any one employee is bigger than the company. Then he was arrested for diddling a high schooler and I was promoted to his job.

Neymar is not bigger than Barcelona. The Blaugrana will be fine.

According to the latest FIFA World Rankings, Switzerland will approach the 2018 FIFA World Cup bracketed amongst the traditional favorites of Brazil, Germany and Argentina. Those are the only three nations above them in the latest August rankings. It’s easy to laugh at the Swiss opening up a sizable gap over the traditional European powers of France, Spain, Italy and England, but there’s no reason to not have them pegged as dark horses in Russia.

The Serie A season starts in two weeks. The transfer window is open for another three weeks. Due to this strange arrangement, none of the squads are entirely set in stone. This week, we’ll examine some of the most interesting, important and lucrative transfers and assess whether there’s any chance they’ll happen before deadline day.

Paulo Dybala

Clubs: Juventus to Barcelona