Celebrity

The official trailer for xXx: Return of Xander Cage has been released. This may not seem like soccer information to you. This is absolutely soccer information.

We wish every soccer fan was like Leslie Jones.

Yo I've been watching soccer all day!! Lol

— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) October 31, 2016

Today I learned Prince Albert of Monaco is exactly as athletic as I assumed he was, which is to say he makes Steve McNulty look like LeBron James.

When Falcao suggests that they give Prince Albert of Monaco the match ball... (J + 1) pic.twitter.com/e3dBqD6nLf

55-year-old Diego Maradona had to be restrained by security staff at Pope Francis’ “Match for Peace and Solidarity” after getting into a verbal altercation with Juan Sebastian Veron on Wednesday night.

Sometimes a story comes along that just feels right. This is one of those. Mino Raiola, the super-agent who represents Manchester United new boys Paul Pogba, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Henrikh Mkhitaryan, has purchased a Miami beach house once owned by crime boss Al Capone.

The Major Indoor Soccer League, the American Indoor Soccer League, the Professional Arena Soccer League — indoor soccer has had its fair share of false dawns in the American sporting landscape. Where all of these leagues have failed, another is looking to finally succeed in the USA.

While investors and organizers have banked on the fast-paced, high-scoring nature of indoor soccer to appeal to the American psyche, the sport likened more to the NBA or NHL has never been able to capture enough media and fan attention for professional leagues to survive very long.

It's the offseason, which means the soccer news cycle is dominated by unsubstantiated transfer rumors and pictures of players on boats. As little as most people care about how everyone's vacation is going, we feel compelled to report it anyway because we're a soccer website and our rent isn't going to pay itself. That's why we're going to tell you about Cristiano Ronaldo going to a Jennifer Lopez concert.

Yes, Ronaldo went to a Jennifer Lopez concert in Las Vegas. Kim Kardashian was there too. And Calvin Harris.

We just want everybody to know that the trailer for the new xXx movie, xXx: Return of Xander Cage, has convinced us that the movie is basically perfect in every way.

We know we're a soccer website. Relax. Neymar is in it.