Central & South America

Brazil Beat Haiti As Bad As Germany Beat Brazil

Remember in the 2014 World Cup when Germany played Brazil in the semifinals and thumped the hosts 7-1, so thorough a defeat that the Brazil's soccer governing body is withholding its two best players (Neymar and Thiago Silva, who, concidentally, both missed the game against Germany) from the Copa America in order to regain its dignity on home soil in the Olympics? Remember that?

Victor Ayala Scored The Goal Of The Tournament Thus far

I don't think it's crazy to say that most of the matches in the Copa America have been less than stellar. The Uruguay-Mexico match was probably the most entertaining thus far, but yesterday's Colombia-Paraguay match may have taken that title. After an early 2-0 deficit, the Paraguayans looked like they were going to be run out of the Rose Bowl. Then manager Ramon Diaz made some changes, including bringing on Victor Ayala, and it was game on. The next 45 minutes were an absolute dog fight and then the substitute rocketed home this golazo from 25 yards out. 

Pitbull Made A Cameo At The End Of Chile's National Anthem Before The Argentina Game

The tension is rising just before the rematch of last year's Copa America final. Argentina and Chile are on the field and the crowd is ready and the players are ready and here comes the national anthem of Chile and everybody's very proud of their country and singing along and—

MR. WORLDWIDE.

OK, that's weird, but no matter we'll just keep singing nice things about Chile and everything will go back to normal—

I SET THE WORLD ON FIRE.

Argentina Proved Why They're The Copa America Favorites Against Chile

The group stage clash between the finalists at the 2015 Copa America, Chila and Argentina, ended in favor of Argentina this time, and without the best player in the world. La Albiceleste prevailed 2-1 over the side that defeated them in penalties last year even though reigning Ballon d'Or winner Lionel Messi remained on the bench with a hamstring injury.

Even though they didn't have Messi, Argentina did have Angel di Maria, which was enough. He first put Argentina ahead by beating Claudio Bravo to the near post on the counter.

Brazil's Best Player Watched Their Copa America Opener With Justin Bieber And Jamie Foxx

Neymar Jr. is both the Brazil National Team's best player and its captain, but the 24-year-old striker isn't playing in the biggest senior soccer tournament in America this summer. Because Brazil are saving him for the Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, he's watching it from the sidelines.

The Selecao striker watched the likes of Philippe Coutinho and Willian draw with Ecuador in their first match in the Copa America Centenario while accompanied by the likes of Justin Bieber, Jamie Foxx and Lewis Hamilton.

The Copa America Played Chile's National Anthem Instead Of Uruguay's Before The Mexico Game

Sunday evening, Mexico vs. Uruguay was about to kick off. The Arizona sun was gently lowering in the sky while the Uruguay National Anthem and the Mexico National Anthem were played and everyone sang and was focused on the moment, which was a moment great games are built upon.

They were focused, at least, until the Uruguay anthem was played. Because it wasn't the Uruguay National Anthem. It was the Chile National Anthem. 

Ronaldinho Is Going Be In A Kickboxing Movie With Mike Tyson

Ronaldinho is going to be a movie star. An action movie star. In a movie. With Mike Tyson in it. Apologies for the sentence fragments so far, but my brain has exploded. It's the best I can do, given the circumstances.

The circumstances, for those interested are that 'Dinho is going to be in a movie called Kickboxer: Retaliation alongside Mike Tyson, the dude who played "The Mountain" on Game of Thrones and Alain Moussi.

Neymar Tried To Play Baseball. He Was Not Good At It

Neymar went to a Mets game for some reason. During his visit to Citi field the Brazil National Team captain decided to try his luck in the batting cages. It went about as well as you'd expect from a person who makes his living with his feet and not his hands.

Are Off-The-Pitch Problems Threatening To Ruin The Copa America For Messi?

The Copa America Centenario is approaching fast, and for Lionel Messi and Argentina, the tournament is a chance at redemption. Having lost in the final of the World Cup in 2014 and the final of the Copa America last year, criticism is starting to grow due to Messi's underachievement. 

AFA President Says Argentina Will Not Be Forced To Withdraw From Copa America

Argentina will play in the Copa America Centenario despite earlier claims that a government investigation could cause the AFA to pull out of the competition. In a press conference on Tuesday following an emergency meeting of the AFA executive board, president Luis Segura said there was no possibility of Argentina being forced to miss the tournament.

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