Central & South America

The USMNT's prospects for winning the Confederations Cup playoff next month against Mexico are not looking very good, if the team's form against Brazil Tuesday is any indication. Brazil annihilated the USMNT 4-1 behind two goals from Neymar. This is a result that demands a bit of wild speculation, which we are only too happy to deliver, in the form of positive and negative takeaways from the game.

There were quite a few negatives. Here are three.

Does Jurgen Klinsmann have any idea what he's doing?

Matias Alonso will probably not receive any sympathy from refs in the future after he hurled himself off a stretcher to waste time after "cramping up" in the late stages of Defensor Sporting's 4-3 win over Bolivian side Real Potosi in the Copa Sudamerica. 

The term "fish out of water" doesn't really do justice to what Alonso attempts here, but it's the most accurate description we could think of.

It will be interesting to see if this sparks a trend of players flopping out of stretchers like an unsuspecting person being thrown in a pool.

The Spanish League has just begun, and once again the favorites are Lionel Messi and Barcelona. However, Messi isn’t the only professional soccer player in his family. Messi’s cousins ​​have made headlines during the last 30 days in Brazil.

Maximiliano Biancucchi Cuccitini plays as striker for Bahía and turns 31 in September, while his brother Emanuel, who is 27 years old, plays midfielder for Vasco da Gama. Both are sons of Messi’s mother’s sister.

When Carlos Tevez announced to the world that he would be returning to Argentina last summer to play for his boyhood club, Boca Juniors, many were surprised. They didn’t understand. He was still just 31, they said, far too young for a man of his ability to walk away from Europe. He was arguably Juventus’ top player in his last season, and now he was going to a club and league in which he would fade into obscurity. 

Watch this video of a dog running onto the field during a professional game in Chile.

But first, read our scouting report on the dog.

The dog is deceptively fast with great movement and does a nice job finding pockets of space in between defenders. The dog seems to find itself in the right places at the right times. The dog has good vision and moves very well without the ball. Essentially, what we're dealing with here is the Thomas Muller of dogs.

Now watch the video.

Normally, even an average professional soccer match will draw thousands of fans. Not the case for a recent match up between two teams in the Colombian League, Atlético Huila and Alianza Petrolera. Incredibly, only 2 fans bought tickets to attend a match in a stadium with a capacity for a 20,000+ person crowd. 

After acquiring a hotel in Medellin, Colombia, Donald Trump has expressed interest in buying a soccer team. Trump offered $100 million for Atletico Nacional, but their owners demanded $150 million.

"National wants $150 million to sell the club. For us, this proposal is unacceptable. Maybe they think we're stupid. We had offered $100 million. It was a significant offer. We are not willing to offer more and continue negotiations," Trump said in a statement.

Tigres fans were advised to be cautious in and around El Estadio Monumental in Argentina on Wednesday night. With soccer hooligans running amok, authorities were afraid brawls would break out between the two opposing fan bases.

The shadow of the Buenos Aires stadium on the pavement gave passersby an eerie calmness, even though the stadium was about to host the final of South America’s most well-known club tournament. The stadium, home to River Plate, was about to host the second leg of the Copa Libertadores final. An intense showdown between two sides was imminent.

What you are about to see is a real (to the best of our knowledge) video of Racing supporters throwing stuff on the field during a game in the Argentina Primera Division.

In this real video, Belgrano keeper Juan Olave grabs a passing cheeseburger, picks it up and takes a bite. We are not making this up. Watch it and be forever haunted.