Clint Dempsey

I’m not a podcast person. I listened to Season 1 of Serial on a road trip and only finished it because I was on a road trip. I then avoided the format for like six years until Grant Wahl’s American Prodigy: Freddy Adu, because I need to know where my son Freddy is and what he’s doing at all times. 

But I’m back at it with The Crack Podcast, which I started simply because I love DaMarcus Beasley and Oguchi Onyewu, but I continue because it’s hilarious, informative and generally fucking excellent.

Scoring a goal against Mexico is a dream for every American soccer player. Clint Dempsey’s 57 goals for the USMNT is tied for the most in history, but none of those 57 came against America’s rival down south.

When Dempsey stepped up to take a penalty against El Tri in 2013, every fan expected him to bury it, right? This wasn’t the case, as one of the greatest players in U.S. history lasered his shot six yards wide of the goal. Why would Dempsey do this? We have a pretty good idea.

Context:

Date: Sept. 10, 2013

On Tuesday, USMNT fans found themselves drooling over yet another young American prospect realizing his potential at the highest level in Europe.

Weston McKennie went horizontal for flying volley against Barcelona, capturing the imagination of a generation of American soccer fans in the process.

Exactly 10 years after one of the greatest events in American soccer history, Landon Donovans's 91st-minute winner against Algeria, it's time to finally determine where Donovan's goal ranks among the Top 10 best USMNT moments of all time.

As American stars like Christian Pulisic and Tyler Adams continue to mature and up-and-comers emerge, we’ll soon wonder how their performances compare to Americans from the past.

To help you draw these comparisons, here are the five best campaigns from Americans in Europe.

Americans loves celebrities like apple pie and making fun of baseball. It’s why late night TV shows constantly barrage us with uninspired interviews of famous actors trying to get us to watch their new thing.

But occasionally, a late night show does something truly inspired. They bring on a soccer player, someone who can actually keep the viewers who aren’t in states where marijuana is legalized awake.