Europe

You might be angry with the headline, but it’s the truth. It’s not click bait, a click bait article, by definition, doesn’t give you the information promised in the headline. Theo Walcott, as now certified by the Guinness Book of Records, has better control than Lionel Messi. It's the truth, I mean, if you can’t trust the Guinness Book of Records, who can you trust?  

So it’s a subjective form of control, and by subjective I mean it’s based off of who can control a ball dropped from a ridiculous altitude, but it’s a form of control no less.

Bastian Schweinsteiger's exile from Manchester United's first team appears to be dissipating.

The German midfielder played in his first match of the season earlier this week, getting a few minutes of run against West Ham in the EFL Cup quarterfinals. Schweinsteiger made the most of his time, sending a nice pass to set up Zlatan Ibrahimovic's second goal.

This has led Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho to say that Schweinsteiger might not be so exiled after all.

World Soccer magazine, established in 1960, has been handing out their Player of the Year award since 1982, establishing itself as one of the most well-respected accolades in the game. Since 2005, the winner of the World Soccer Player of the Year has subsequently been named the Ballon d’Or recipient. 

Following every weekend, when discussing Serie A, there's a temptation to focus on Juventus. As the long-time reigning champions, it's clear why the Turin side garners a huge amount of attention. But the best stories are not always found at the top of the table.

We've been over why Bastian Schweinsteiger needs to be playing for Manchester United, so we're not going to do that again.

(sorry, can't help ourselves: it's because Marouane Fellaini is garbage)

Schweinsteiger's exile from the Manchester United first team finally ended Wednesday when he made a four-minute (plus stoppage time) cameo in United's 4-1 win against West Ham in the EFL Cup quarterfinals.

When I was a young lad my youth soccer team had a throw-in routine that we labelled “Pikachu”, much to the embarrassment of our coach. The player taking the throw-in would gleefully scream out the play over and over, and we’d get giddy as all hell at the opportunity to execute. Standing in a well-organized line four or five deep, the players towards the front would peel off laterally while the player at the very back of the queue would steam forward to collect the throw-in. 

It’s the EFL Cup so everything must be taken with a grain of salt, but Manchester United’s dominate victory over West Ham in the quarterfinals saw United resemble a waking giant. It must also be said that West Ham’s performance was totally in line with their 2016-17 season so far — disastrous.

With only two minutes gone, the Red Devils opened the scoring after a brilliant exchange between Henrikh Mkhitaryan and Zlatan Ibrahimovic. With both Paul Pogba and Marouane Fellaini suspended for the match, Mkhitaryan was handed a rare start and setup Ibrahimovic with a slick back heel.  

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

It was the best of times for Vedad Ibisevic because he scored twice in Hertha Berlin's 2-1 win over Mainz, with the second marking his 100th Bundesliga goal.

It was the worst of times for Vedad Ibisevic because, less than 10 minutes after scoring his 100th Bundesliga goal, he got a second yellow and was sent off.