Fails

The Federico Chiesa goal vs Chelsea came only 11 seconds into the second half. The sole goal in Juventus’ 1-0 group stage victory against Chelsea was missed by anyone who didn’t quite get back to their screens in time.

Chiesa Goal Vs Chelsea

FEDERICO CHIESA. 11 SECONDS INTO THE SECOND HALF. pic.twitter.com/W3KkSWJE37

If you’re like most of the football world on Tuesday, you were focused on the battle between the world’s two richest sides, PSG and Manchester City. As sad as Bernardo Silva was after his miss in that match, there was no one sadder on Tuesday than Diogo Costa, the Porto goalkeeper who was caught disastrously out of position by Roberto Firmino.

Manchester City looked like a world beater in its first Champions League match of the season, the type of team that can score at will, whenever it wants. Match Day 2 was a different story for Pep Guardiola’s side, and the Bernardo Silva miss vs PSG may haunt the Citizens if they’re unable to claim first place in Group A.

I heard once, I can’t remember from where, that the greatest measure of your time remaining on this planet was in how many more World Cups you could reasonably expect to witness before death. Instead of saying “I am 30,” you could say “I hope to see 12 more World Cups.”

That struck me as a reasonable philosophy. 

Birthdays start to come and go with an increasing desire to make less of what starts to seem like a doomsday countdown, but the World Cup — with its quadrennial rarity — stands out as a month-long celebration of the best of our outward reality.  

Emi Martínez became an absolute legend during this summer’s Copa América. As Argentina’s keeper, he taunted and shithoused his way to a shootout victory over Colombia in the semifinals on the way to helping Lionel Messi claim his first major international trophy. On Saturday, Martínez was back at it, taunting Cristiano Ronaldo before the last-minute Bruno Fernandes penalty vs Aston Villa flew into the Old Trafford faithful. 

"Life goes on" was the message from coach Massimiliano Allegri after learning of Cristiano Ronaldo's desire to leave last month, but four Serie A games into a future without their former talisman, Juventus continue to go from one disaster to the next

The reaction in Turin to the Portuguese forward's departure for English Premier League side Manchester United was mixed.

When people ask me why I love soccer, I usually talk about how no sport allows players the freedom of creativity like the beautiful game. Maestros can move the ball around the pitch the way an artist moves her paint brush. Registas can pull the strings the way a master violinist plays a solo. Finishers can bring a crowd to its feet faster than the Pope.

But also, I just love all the wacky shit that happens, like the bizarre own goal that proved to be the difference in Galatasaray’s 1-0 win over Lazio in the Europa League on Thursday.

Manchester City and RB Leipzig played the most thrilling game to open up the 2021-22 Champions League season with a nine-goal thriller that saw City win 6-3. American fans won’t want to talk about the Jack Grealish vs Tyler Adams moment for City’s fourth goal.

Adams was caught ball watching and far too lackadaisical tracking back to get to a ball in his final third. His slowness allowed Grealish to pick up the ball and proceed to do horrible things to the American. Close your eyes USMNT fans, Adams is about to get murdered.