Eyes bulging, brows knitted and limbs a collection of angular bludgeoning tools, Pepe came rumbling and tumbling toward Raheem Sterling in the back of the area after nearly committing a series of fouls with only one thing on his mind: to successfully commit a foul this time.
If there was an ounce of embellishment on Sterling’s part it was only in that he immediately recognized Pepe’s cruel intentions and tried to save himself.
Italy coach Roberto Mancini fumed over the state of the pitch after his team were held to a 0-0 draw away to Poland in the Nations League on Sunday.
After a glaring miss by Federico Chiesa early in the game, Italy struggled to create chances and managed only three shots on target despite enjoying 60% of possession. Even so, Italy extended their unbeaten run to 18 matches as they stayed top of League A Group One with five points from three games. The Netherlands and Poland have four each and Bosnia two.
This is the story of Brendan O’Hare getting stuck in a soccer net and surviving off raw sweet corn, but it’s also a stern morality tale centered around finding your place in a non-corn world.
If you’re interested in more, check out the “This Is Branchburg” podcast on Adult Swim or peruse the Brendan and Cory YouTube channel.