Fails

FIFA 19 In Real Life: Attack Leads To Four Shots, Two Posts And Zero Goals

Last night, León (The Club That Landon Built) defeated Pumas 3-1 in a match that was played 10-on-10 for 20 minutes. José Juan Macías, Ángel Mena and Vinicio Angulo were among the goals for León, who stayed within touching distance of Tigres and Monterrey at the top of the Clausura table. 

There’s An American Goalkeeper In The German 2nd Division With Balls Of Steel

Did you know there’s a 33-year-old American playing goalkeeper in the 2. Bundesliga? I did not, but I’m starting to connect the dots. That man is Kenneth Kronholm, born in Fort Belvoir, Virginia, and he’s a certified mad lad.

Idiot Playing FIFA Shows Everyone How Not To Treat Their Significant Other On Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is a time for Hallmark to sell cards, Russell Stover to sell chocolates and your local florist to sell flowers. It’s a time for partners to celebrate their love and single people to dwell on their wretched singleness. It’s not a time for this idiot playing FIFA.

To all the FIFA players with significant others out there this Valentine’s Day, please do not treat your partner like this idiot playing FIFA.

Miguel Almirón’s Newcastle Debut Ruined By Comical Last-Second Equalizer

This story should be about another tactical masterclass from Rafa Benitez or the staggeringly good form of 21-year-old midfielder Sean Longstaff or the brief but spirited cameo from record signing Miguel Almirón, but instead it’s about a ridiculous bit of goalkeeping from the usually excellent Martin Dúbravka.

Newcastle traveled to the Molineux on Monday night sitting above the drop zone on goal difference. With Wolves flying high in seventh, this match represented a daunting fixture for Benitez’s men.

Ronaldo Rips A Half Volley Straight Into His Teammate’s Face, Ending Him

Things are going fine for Cristiano Ronaldo in Italy. On Sunday, the 34-year-old scored his 18th league goal in 23 appearances during Juventus’ 3-0 victory over Sassuolo. Following Napoli’s draw with Fiorentina, the win sees Juve open up an 11-point gap at the top of the table with 15 matches remaining. 

So it’s looking like an eighth straight Scudetto for the Old Lady and a Capocannoniere for Ronaldo as Serie A’s top scorer. Ho-hum. 

Tottenham Ball Boy Draws Watford Yellow Card, Gives Fans A Wink

It’s not unusual for ball boys to become a part of a soccer match, as we’ve highlighted plenty of times before. Who can forget when Eden Hazard kicked an unflinching Swansea lad?

Huddersfield Town Winless Streak Officially Enters Third Month

It was another frustrating night for Huddersfield Town as the club fell to its 16th loss of the season to Everton and its ninth one-goal defeat on Tuesday, 1-0. 

The game marked Huddersfield’s new boss Jan Siewert’s first game of action.

Huddersfield drew at 1-1 last time the two played but the EPL’s best in the net, Jordan Pickford, managed to keep the Terriers scoreless in the rematch.

Pickford played magnificent with only two dynamic saves needed of him. 

Ridiculous Error Knocks Australia Out Of Asian Championship To UAE; Qatar Upsets South Korea

Heading into Friday’s quarterfinals of the AFC Asian Cup, South Korea and Australia were widely expected to advance past underdog opponents. One brilliant long-range strike and one unforgivable error later, Qatar and the United Arab Emirates are preparing to face off in next week’s semifinals.

The Best Goals Of FIFA 19 Are Outrageous, But We Prefer Ones Of The Crap Variety

On Monday, EA Sports posted a video featuring the best goals scored in FIFA 19 so far. As you’d expect, it’s a compilation of players like Neymar and Antoine Griezmann flicking the ball up, turning and swiveling, mutating their bodies into ungodly forms and weltering bicycle kicks from over 30 yards out. Very cool.

Los muchachos del carrito de emergencia pasan por encima del pie de un jugador herido y se ríen a carcajadas de eso.

La Copa São Paulo de Futebol Júnior, una competición de copa entre equipos sub-20 brasileños, fue el escenario de más violencia entre equipos médicos y futbolistas el pasado domingo, una plaga creciente en el fútbol mundial.

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