Fails

Dani Carvajal Tried To Game The System And Got Caught

Real Madrid defender Dani Carvajal thought he was being clever. In the waning moments of a 6-0 victory over APOEL on Nov. 21, Carvajal decided to hold the ball instead of throwing it back into play. The referee didn’t like this time wasting and showed him a yellow card. It was Carvajal’s fifth yellow of the Champions League campaign, meaning he would be suspended for the Borussia Dortmund match, but he would be available for the knockout rounds, for which Real Madrid had already qualified. 

Surprise! The Chinese Super League Is Completely Unsustainable

It turns out spending millions of dollars on manager Andre Villas-Boas and immediate want-aways Carlos Tevez and Jackson Martinez amounts to little more than burning money for the Chinese Super League. According to a recent audit by accounting firm PwC and as reported by Goal, the CSL’s clubs are currently in a combined debt of over $600 million.

Dreadful Pass By Renato Sanches Draws Great Reaction From His Despondent Coach

A little over a year ago, Renato Sanches was one of the hottest young commodities in European football. In 2016 he won the Portuguese Primeira Liga with Benfica and helped Portugal win the European Championship. On Wednesday, a Renato Sanches pass was so bad it nearly brought his coach to tears. 

Why Would Anybody Ever Do This?

Wednesday’s Scottish Premiership match between second-place Aberdeen and third-place Rangers quickly descended into stereotypes about Scottish football after Aberdeen’s Greg Tansey just clattered Rangers midfielder Jason Holt in the box.

Tansey unloaded his flailing, spinning whiff with only seven minutes gone and was then shamefully (or mercifully) hooked in the 43rd minute. With the mighty Bhoys of Celtic dropping points against Motherwell, this could’ve been an excellent opportunity for Aberdeen to put some pressure on the pacesetters. Instead, this happened.

Sublime Assist From Gareth Bale Overshadowed By Keylor Navas Blunder

Gareth Bale made his return from another injury layoff with an exquisite assist for Real Madrid, but goalkeeper Keylor Navas’ ricocheted blunder may have overshadowed Bale’s attempted heroics. Real Madrid drew 2-2 against Fuenlabrada in the second leg of their Copa del Rey Round of 32 match on Tuesday, advancing 4-2 on aggregate as the club’s (relative) struggles continued this season.

Thiago Messi Hilarity Causes Dad And Luis Suarez To Lose It During Golden Shoe Ceremony

Five-year-old Thiago Messi is obviously too young to understand that there’s nothing more serious than a football awards gala. That’s why FIFA and UEFA spend hours patting themselves on the back while dragging out an exercise that should really only take roughly 10-15 minutes. It’s a place for old men in expensive suits to enjoy upper, upper class high society, not general mirth.

It Took Just 16 Minutes For Marcos Antonio To Turn Himself Into A Laughingstock

Marcos Antonio's Bundesliga debut for Nurnberg in 2012 against Stuttgart was so bad the Brazilian defender was substituted after 16 minutes and never played for the club again (granted, a big part of that was injuries). It was one of just two appearances Antonio made for the club, the first coming in the DFB Pokal against TSV Havelse.

Nike’s Back At It Again With Their Horribly Generic Kits For The World Cup

So remember how in 2016 Nike rolled out all their international kits with the Vapor template? You might not because it was a complete non-event. The USA looked like Portugal looked like England looked like PSG. The kits were “modern” in design, which is PR speak for indistinguishable, homogeneous, money-grubbing attire. 

Well, here comes the 2018 World Cup, the perfect time to check all those boxes again. But instead of the Vapor template, we now get the Aeroswift template (the collar is different!). Just take my $120 now.

Here’s Portugal…

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