Funny

CNBC released an article June 11 at 8 a.m. EST with the headline “Major League Soccer will be the first contact sport to return, giving it a chance to outshine rivals.”

Now I don’t know about you guys, but that headline sure doesn’t seem accurate. MLS is said to return July 8, while the NWSL Challenge Cup is said to return June 27. 

In an era of fast-paced media consumption and Google at our fingertips, a slew of responses flooded Twitter and said all the right things. (CNBC since took down the original tweet publicizing the article.)

People love to hate on Cristiano Ronaldo, and according to him it’s because they're jealous of his success. 

So, with that confident statement in mind, it’s only fair to ask: Did fame change Ronaldo’s play? Or is he just getting older?

We can probably debunk the getting older argument — Ronaldo crushed his recent Juventus fitness tests.

Sunday’s 2. Bundesliga encounter between promotion hopeful Stuttgart and relegation-threatened Osnabrück finished 0-0 at Mercedes-Benz Arena, and the home side had Osnabrück striker Benjamin Girth to thank for that.

In the 40th minute, Osnabrück mounted a beautiful attack down the right-hand side of the pitch. The flowing move included a scoop pass, a perfectly weighted and executed backheel flick and a no-nonsense square ball for Girth to tap into an empty net from 12 yards out.

But Girth somehow managed to steer his effort off the base of the post and wide.

Ah yes, Alexi Lalas, arguably the best redhead to play for the USMNT and one of the main voices for soccer in this country. From having some of the best hair in World Cup in history to torching the USMNT before its cataclysmic failure to qualify, Lalas has had plenty of noteworthy accomplishments in the past 50 years. This list looks at the five best Alexi Lalas moments so far.

Poland’s top flight of soccer has once again produced a moment of chaotic brilliance.

The Ekstraklasa isn’t abundantly discussed among fans — hell, a lot of people don’t even know Poland’s top flight is called the Ekstraklasa — but in Sunday’s match between league leader Legia Warsaw and Lech Poznan, the luckiest goal ever was scored. This goal deserves the eyes of all soccer fans.

It was a tense week in Minnesota. While the vast majority of our thoughts and actions were centered around peacefully protesting the death of George Floyd in police custody, it was impossible to shake the sense of apprehension that came with reports of arson, opportunistic looting, outside agitators (white supremacists? anarchists?) and suspicious unmarked vehicles tooling around town, all under the shadow of a global pandemic. 

Let’s start with some ground rules.

• We’re using a 4-3-3 formation
• We’re not taking real-life chemistry between players into account
• We’re considering the player’s current form

OK, enough of that. Here’s my Concacaf 11 lineup broken down by position:

While the Premier League and Serie A both announced their return dates, Ligue 1 players have some waiting to do with the season canceled. With Ligue 1 over and no international soccer for the foreseeable future, stars in the French top flight like Neymar have to find some way to pass the time.

The Brazilian star opted to egg his own son on Instagram.