Funny

Snow, Enemy Of The Free Peoples Of Earth, Stops A Certain Goal In Germany

It was pissing down snow in Hannover today, particularly at HDI-Arena, which has a much better name sans sponsorship: the Niedersachsenstadion. Hannover 96, staring straight down the double-barreled shotgun that is relegation, welcomed Champions League aspirants Bayer Leverkusen to the Snowmageddon on Sunday, and things started off as you’d expect.

Leverkusen jumped to a 2-0 lead thanks to a first half brace from Kevin Volland. The second was quite nice, and it’ll help you to understand the weather conditions that we’ll be addressing shortly. 

Saturday Night Live Covers A Premier League Broadcast

Last night’s Saturday Night Live was hosted by English actor Idris Elba, and the show used his presence to cast him as an injured player making an appearance on Sky Sports. 

Let Us Not Forget The Real Hero Of Manchester United’s Comeback Win Over PSG: Fred

Manchester United completed a stunning comeback to defeat Paris Saint-Germain 3-1 on Wednesday in Paris, turning around a dour first-leg defeat to advance on away goals, 3-3 on aggregate. It was an unforgettable match that came down to the final minute. But there was an forgettable hero: Fred. 

PSG shot itself in the foot multiple times but nearly pulled through until VAR was called into play, giving Manchester United a penalty kick in stoppage time. 

Pepe Makes Edin Dzeko Collapse By Screaming 'F*** YOU' In His Face

We got 10 years of Pepe at Real Madrid, and if time weren’t such a cruel mistress, we could’ve been blessed with 10 more. I, for one, would welcome an eternal version of Pepe, a timeless incarnation of shithousery that doesn’t care about VAR now being a thing — a mad lad with his face cast in an eternal scowl, eyebrows bulging cartoonishly from his skull and always looking for fingers to stomp on and fouls suffered to greatly exaggerate. 

Mario Balotelli Celebrates Awesome Goal With A Selfie

After going scoreless in 10 matches with Nice to begin the 2018-19 season, Mario Balotelli now has four goals in six games since joining Marseille over the January transfer window.

The 28-year-old Italian’s latest strike was an incredible effort against St-Etienne today, and he celebrated in true Balotelli fashion — it’s bound to piss a lot of people off. 

Liverpool Loses EPL Lead While Klopp Gets Triggered By A Ball Boy

Merseyside rivals Everton dealt Liverpool’s Premier League title aspirations a heavy blow on Sunday by frustrating the Reds time after time during a 0-0 stalemate at Goodison Park. 

There are still nine matches remaining in the season, but the draw has handed control back to Manchester City in the title race. The Citizens now have a one-point advantage and control their own destiny. They’ve also won five straight league games, certainly an ominous harbinger for a Liverpool side that’s won only two of its last six. 

Zlatan Kills It On Kimmel Again, Admits There's Something He's Not Good At

The GOAT has made his Hollywood presence felt across the country by joining Jimmy Kimmel again, about a year after Zlatan Ibrahimovic's memorable first appearance on the late-night talk show.

Ibra reflected on his first season with the Galaxy, being named captain and family life in Los Angeles.

He confirmed there is something he is not good at. Surprisingly, its Sweden’s second greatest accomplishment: IKEA.

FIFA 19 In Real Life: Attack Leads To Four Shots, Two Posts And Zero Goals

Last night, León (The Club That Landon Built) defeated Pumas 3-1 in a match that was played 10-on-10 for 20 minutes. José Juan Macías, Ángel Mena and Vinicio Angulo were among the goals for León, who stayed within touching distance of Tigres and Monterrey at the top of the Clausura table. 

God Officially Hands Over The Reins To Messi

Lionel Messi registered his 50th professional hat trick Saturday, which led to another Twitter frenzy.

Messi now trails just Cristiano Ronaldo with regards to career hat tricks — Ronaldo has 51 three-score outings. The two are compared and argued over more than we’d like to admit. However, the GOAT discussion has officially ended.

Both players have received praise from about everyone in the world, but Messi has officially one-upped his rival with this unmatchable praise:

Bafétimbi Gomis’ Goal Celebration Sends Ballboy Fleeing In Terror; Striker Makes Up For It After Match

The Bafétimbi Gomis celebration is one of our favorites. He gets on all fours and crawls forward, pawing his arms out like a big cat. 

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