Funny

It’s always somewhat perplexing as to how streakers gain access to the field during professional sporting events. 

But doing it when football matches are being played behind closed doors and with the security that entails? That’s outrageous. And doing it in an empty stadium when it’s the most important match in the home side’s 89-year history? Well that’s unbelievable. 

And how about meeting all the above criteria but also doing it when your name around town is “The Nude Man of Granada”? That’s a miracle on grass. 

Last season, the Championship was a perfectly scripted drama that perfectly encapsulated the unpredictable nature of the league at both ends of the table — the final promotion and relegation spots were truly not decided until the last kick of the season.

The English second tier has been just as good so far this year, as numerous teams have challenged for promotion and the bottom of the table has been just as tight. 

I spent a fair amount of time over the past month watching a sport other than soccer. The men’s and women’s NCAA basketball tournaments returned from a year hiatus and produced thrilling competitions, with the Stanford women and Baylor men claiming the titles. Soccer fans who watched the tourneys will have noticed two things: The repeated use of FIFA songs in commercials/promos and basketball announcers pretending to know what they’re talking about while plugging the Champions League on Paramount+. 

For all the wacky, zany, unexpected occurrences that have happened over the years in Scottish football (and there have been plenty), most of them have at least had a logical explanation.

The automated match camera that confused the referee's bald head for the ball? Completely improbable — but the deductive reasoning makes sense. 

Since the beginning of time humanity has sought to cover its dirty bits. 

From sewing fig-leaves together and crafting loin-cloths in the Garden of Eden to oozing swagger in a turtleneck and chain combo, humankind has always been on an insatiable quest to combine the elements of decency and drip. 

However, these pieces might fit right, feel good and come at an affordable price, but do they do enough to support your viewpoint on how implementing promotion and relegation throughout the American soccer pyramid would win us the 2026 World Cup? 

Burnley strikers, some of the most obsitinent players in the Premier League, are known for scoring headers, deflections, scruffy goals from corner kicks and, more recently, chesting home an errant pass from an Arsenal midfielder.

All ugly goals, all in and around the six-yard area, but nonetheless, goals that count. You don't expect miracles from the Burnley strikeforce, but you know what you are going to get.

The offside trap is a rarity in professional soccer these days. While youth soccer in the U.S. employs this strategy all the time, it’s rarely seen at the highest level.

The last time an offside trap was used on a big stage and worked correctly was when Japan caught nearly all of Senegal’s team napping in the 2018 World Cup.