Germany

American Striker Bobby Wood Scored A Screamer For Hamburger SV

It’s been a difficult debut season in the Bundesliga for USMNT striker Bobby Wood. His team, Hamburger SV, are the only club to have played in every season of the Bundesliga since its foundation, but they’ve spent the entire season mired at the bottom of the table.

With only 10 points from 15 matches, Hamburger’s struggles have been mirrored in Wood’s play. The American hadn’t scored since September 10, but he finally scored his third goal of the season against Mainz on Saturday.

Watching This Ref Hand Out 5 Cards In 12 Seconds Will Make You Power Hungry

Saturday’s match between Bundesliga leaders RB Leipzig and relegation-threatened FC Ingolstadt was remarkable in that the team at the bottom pulled off a highly improbable 1-0 upset. 

What was exceedingly exceptional was what transpired in second half stoppage time. Referee Markus Schmidt, who’d apparently just put down Niccolo Machiavelli’s The Prince before running out to officiate this match, showed that it is indeed safer to be feared than loved.

Adorable Little Mascot Ruthlessly Dabs On Opposing Goalkeeper

Oh no.

Heidenheim goalkeeper Kevin Muller has been roasted, burned to a crisp by a young mascot. Before Heidenheim played Hannover in the German 2. Bundesliga last Friday, Muller was dabbed on.

Muller just wanted a handshake. Instead he got the dab. This is what you get for trying to be polite. Kids these days. No respect.

To add injury to insult, Muller ended up leaving the game with a cut on his neck. It wasn't as bad as it looked, but Muller ended up with 13 stitches and some very wounded pride.

Marco Reus Would Be A Ballon D’Or Finalist If He Could Stay Healthy

A torn ankle ligament, adductor problems, a toe injury, hamstring injuries, osteitis pubis and muscular problems: all have conspired to give us less Marco Reus in our lives than we should ever be happy with. The 27-year-old doesn’t even have 30 caps for Germany yet, which is an offense to the footballing gods.

Chicharito Is Enduring The Longest Goal Drought Of His Professional Career

It was always going to be difficult to match the success of his debut season with Bayer Leverkusen, but Saturday marked a new low in the professional career of Javier “Chicharito” Hernandez. The Mexican striker hadn’t scored a goal since October 1st, and he was looking for his first goal in seven Bundesliga matches.

With the scores level in the 88th minute of Leverkusen’s match with Freiburg, Chicharito stepped up to take the penalty that would end his goal scoring drought and reverse the fortunes of a Leverkusen club that had lost two consecutive Bundesliga matches.

Vedad Ibisevic Scored His 100th Bundesliga Goal Then Got Sent Off Less Than 10 Minutes Later

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

It was the best of times for Vedad Ibisevic because he scored twice in Hertha Berlin's 2-1 win over Mainz, with the second marking his 100th Bundesliga goal.

It was the worst of times for Vedad Ibisevic because, less than 10 minutes after scoring his 100th Bundesliga goal, he got a second yellow and was sent off.

Hoffenheim's 29-Year-Old Boss Is The Next Big Thing In Management

When Hoffenheim appointed a 28-year-old to lead their first team, even Hoffenheim fans thought they were crazy.

Born on July 23, 1987, Julian Nagelsmann became the youngest manager in the history of the Bundesliga when appointed in February. At the time, 1899 Hoffenheim was sitting in 17th place with just two wins, and it looked like relegation was imminent. Originally considered a publicity stunt, Nagelsmann has brought his team from the brink of relegation to third in the Bundesliga, and Hoffenheim are one of just three teams undefeated at this point in the season.

Thomas Muller Is Beefing With The Entire Nation Of San Marino

Thomas Muller’s incredible return of 32 goals from 49 matches in all competitions for Bayern Munich last season had many prognosticators envisioning a brilliant Euro 2016 campaign for the German attacker. However, Muller’s inability to score and poor form throughout Germany’s six matches made him one of the tournament’s biggest disappointments.

While Muller has scored braces against Norway and the Czech Republic in World Cup qualifying, he hasn’t yet managed a goal in the Bundesliga, a drought that’s now surpassed over 500 minutes of football.

Usain Bolt Will Train With Borussia Dortmund Someday, Eventually, Maybe

Donald Trump won the election, Leicester won the premier league, Britain left the EU and now Usain Bolt is joining Borussia Dortmund? Why not.

According to Decca Aitkenhead of The Guardian:

Bayern Munich Play In Jerseys Made Of Literal Garbage

In a heartwarming display of humanity, Bayern Munich played today's match in jerseys made of ocean garbage to bring awareness to the damage being done to our oceans.

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