Highlights

Welcome back, MLS. We didn’t really miss you, but we’re glad you’re back.

After taking a two-week break for the start of the Gold Cup (but resuming before the end of the Gold Cup, because, you know, CONCACAF), MLS returned with a bang on Wednesday. 

But, since most MLS fans were probably watching Team USA on Wednesday instead, here’s a rundown of the night’s action, which included six pretty good matches and then a drab 0-0 draw between Minnesota and Houston. 

Chicharito is on his way to West Ham for a medical, and if everything is good and cool there he will become a West Ham player. He will return to the Premier League after two seasons with Bayer Leverkusen. During his first season in Germany, Chicharito lit the world on fire with 26 goals in 40 appearances. During the second season he was good but not great, but he still had some pretty cool goals.

The United States are through to the Gold Cup semifinals, but the real story on Wednesday night was the erotic interplay between USMNT striker Jozy Altidore and his tight man-to-man marker, El Salvador’s Henry Romero.

The City of Brotherly Love was truly feeling the heat yesterday evening as Romero pinched and twisted Altidore’s nipple and took a nice little chomp on his shoulder for good measure. Romero was booked in the 81st minute, but he kept Altidore off the scoresheet for 90 minutes, so mission accomplished.

Despite a litany of mistakes from the back four and very hungry El Salvador defense, the USMNT is through to the semifinals of the CONCACAF Gold Cup. The 2-0 scoreline perhaps flattered the USA, but a win's a win.

Omar Gonzalez opened the scoring off a set piece, for his second goal of the tournament.

Anibal Godoy had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad two minutes. The Panamanian midfielder committed a foul to earn a yellow that would keep him out of the next match should his team advance, then seconds later made sure his team wouldn’t advance. 

Costa Rica beat Panama 1-0 thanks to a Godoy own goal in the Gold Cup quarterfinals on Wednesday in Philadelphia. Los Ticos will play either the U.S. or El Salvador in the semifinals on Saturday. 

It's safe to say that Zinedine Zidane is aging remarkably well. The 45-year-old quickly transitioned from a Champions League winning player to a Champions League winning coach, and he looks as if he hasn’t aged a day in-between. He's got the kind of sideline presence that'll make your mom stop and stare at the television before saying something about how Americans are sure as s**t a lot fatter than Europeans.

AC Milan have confirmed that they’re currently in talks with Bayern Munich regarding a possible two-year loan deal for 19-year-old Portuguese midfielder Renato Sanches with the option to sign him permanently for €40 million.

It didn't take Christian Pulisic long to show his new boss what he can do with the ball at his feet. In Borussia Dortmund’s first match of the International Champions Cup against renovated AC Milan in China, Pulisic had two assists and drew a penalty as the Germans cruised to a 3-1 win. 

New Dortmund coach Peter Bosz will likely have few complaints with the 18-year-old American, who was subbed off in the 74th minute. Bosz was brought in from Ajax in June after guiding the Dutch team to the Europa League final.