Highlights

Revealed: The Reason Behind Francis Coquelin’s Explosion On Saturday

Chelsea’s victory over Arsenal on Saturday was marked by a strange phenomena that led to the end of midfield enforcer Francis Coquelin’s career. Coquelin was employed to stop suspicious characters from running straight through the Arsenal midfield, but he failed after suffering spontaneous human combustion while tracking Eden Hazard. 

He exploded into hellfire. There is no adequate explanation for this bit of poltergeist, in fact, referee Martin Atkinson adjudged it to be a foul, which is a pretty terrible way to treat someone who’s just suffered self-detonation.

Cameroon Will Join Egypt In The AFCON Final

It's done and dusted. Cameroon defeated Ghana 2-0 in the Africa Cup of Nations semifinals Thursday and will move on to the final against Egypt on Sunday.

When They Say Have A Go, They Don’t Mean From 40 Yards

Jerry Ortiz of Colombia’s Once Caldas scored one of the best goals you’ll see all year against Peru’s Universitario in a friendly match. The 24-year-old has just arrived at Once Caldas from fellow Colombian club Atletico Huila.

This is one way to introduce yourself to your new club. The goalkeeper isn’t even out of position, that’s just a swerving, looping bomb from Ortiz. My word, Jerry.

Egypt's 44-Year-Old Goalie Has Them In The AFCON Final

Egypt and Burkina Faso met Wednesday with a trip to the Africa Cup of Nations on the line, and the match was ultimately decided by Egypt's 44-year-old goalkeeper, Essam El-Hadary.

El-Hadary made several fine saves in open play (which ended 1-1) before saving Burkina Faso's final two penalties to win the shootout.

Peter Crouch Scored His 100th EPL Goal And Did "The Robot"

Peter Crouch became the 26th player to score 100 Premier League goals during Wednesday's 1-1 draw against Everton.

Of course, he did "The Robot" to celebrate.

World-Class Goals From Suarez And Messi Put Barca On Cusp Of Copa Del Rey Final

Barcelona, the defending Copa del Rey champions, are on the cusp of being able to defend their title after defeating Atletico Madrid 2-1 in Madrid. Luis Suarez and Lionel Messi put Barca up 2-0 by halftime, but Antoine Griezmann managed to pull one back for Atletico in the 59th minute. 

Over 48,000 inside the Vicente Calderon witnessed a nightmare start as Suarez opened the scoring for Barcelona in the seventh minute. With Javier Mascherano returned to the defensive midfield role, his crunching tackle saw the ball roll free to Suarez. 

Watch The Newest Juventus Signing Put A Defender In The Washing Machine

Meet Riccardo Orsolini. Juventus officially signed him earlier this week. We think it is a very good signing, because Orsolini does things like this:

Suspecting The Ref Of Match Fixing, These Players Took Matters Into Their Own Hands

Match fixing has rocked international soccer to a disturbing degree. The 2006 Italian football scandal will forever remain a dark mark on the histories of clubs like Juventus and Fiorentina, among others. Portugal, Germany and Brazil have also had their league's sporting integrity compromised by corrupt referees.

La Liga's Refusal To Use Goal-Line Technology Comes Back To Haunt Barcelona

Real Madrid’s mini-crisis heading into the weekend was completely reversed in a matter of hours. First, Barcelona travelled to Sevilla to play Real Betis. In a match that Barca were heavy favorites in, they found themselves trailing 1-0 in the 79th minute. 

Then, after Neymar had been dragged down in the box with no foul given, a Betis defender sent the ball into his own goal. It clearly crossed the line, but a desperate clearance from inside the net was adjudged to have prevented the goal by the referee.

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