Highlights

The USMNT's prospects for winning the Confederations Cup playoff next month against Mexico are not looking very good, if the team's form against Brazil Tuesday is any indication. Brazil annihilated the USMNT 4-1 behind two goals from Neymar. This is a result that demands a bit of wild speculation, which we are only too happy to deliver, in the form of positive and negative takeaways from the game.

There were quite a few negatives. Here are three.

Does Jurgen Klinsmann have any idea what he's doing?

Virgil Gomis is a name that we hadn't heard of before this morning. After having seen this video, though, we will likely not forget it for a while. We will certainly be on the lookout for it in the coming years as we follow the EPL, because, man, how can a person who can do this be stuck on a youth team that doesn't even play in the first division?

He will likely not be mired on Nottingham Forest's U-18 team for much longer, because he scored the goal of his life (which would be the goal of most players lives, really) to win against Ipswich Town's U-18 team, 3-2.

If the rest of Didier Drogba's MLS tenure is anything like his first start, the league better hold onto its hat.

Drogba scored three times in his first start for the Montreal Impact (he's made one appearance off the bench), and looked by and large like the prolific scorer he was for Chelsea and the Ivory Coast National Team. 

The outburst came against the Chicago Fire, the MLS team that first acquired Drogba's rights before trading him to Montreal. The 37-year-old's hat trick helped the Impact to a 4-3 victory against the Fire.

The college soccer season is just beginning, but South Carolina's Jeffrey Torda is off to a great start.

Torda scored a sublime scissor-kick goal to put South Carolina up 3-2 on Georgia Southern (they would go on to win 4-0).

The play was the number two selection on SportsCenter's Top 10 Plays, and for good reason. What a rip. 

Just in case you forgot how good James Rodriguez is, here's a little reminder.

The baby-faced Colombian attacking mid scored two golazos against Real Betis this weekend.

The first was an absurdly-angled free kick that bent just around the outstretched fingertips of Betis's keeper.

The second  was an overhead kick that must be seen to believe.

Keep up the good work, James.

Siphiwe Tshabalala, owner of one of the world's most enjoyable-to-say names, scorer of the opening goal of the 2010 World Cup, has gone and scored one of the most absurd goals we have seen since...well, in a while.

Hoo, boy! What a rip.

We don't really have anything to add, save our love of saying "Tshabalala."

Tshabalala.

Tshabalala.

Sheffield Wednesday isn't a name people generally associate with amazing goals, and Marco Matias is a name that most people likely haven't even heard of, but Marco Matias scored a contender for goal of the year in Sheffield Wednesday's 1-1 draw with Leeds United.

Evidently the match had been fairly pedestrian before the goal, so match attendees should be glad Matias was there to make sure they got their money's worth.

A lot of things these days work to take the fun out of watching soccer.

That's why we were delighted when we saw this video of the Wycombe Wanderers scoring a game-tying goal and celebrating madly with the ballboy. 

We did not know that under the current laws of physics this goal was even possible. But it is. We've seen the video. And now you have too (or you will once you're done with the article). 

This happened in the German third division, which is not a place where we normally go to find potential goals of the year. And yet here it is, in all its glory. A front-flipping scorpion kick. Zlatan Ibrahimovic hasn't even done this (yet). 

The playoff race in the NWSL just gets tighter and tighter as the season winds down, and Sunday’s match featuring the Chicago Red Stars at the Portland Thorns drove that point home. 5th place Portland beat 2nd place Chicago 2-1, and tied FC Kansas City on points for the last playoff berth.