Humor

It’s been a pretty disastrous start to the LaLiga season for Madrid-based CD Leganés. This is the club’s fourth consecutive season in the Spanish top flight but after achieving its highest-ever finish last campaign (13th), Los Pepineros look destined for a drop to the Segunda División. 

With the club languishing in last place, manager Mauricio Pellegrino was sacked on Oct. 21 following a winless streak of nine matches. Mexican manager Javier Aguirre was appointed on Nov. 4 and he’s now tasked with saving this sinking ship. 

There was an ad I saw on Twitter today starring two really, really good-looking people. Oh my. You may know them as Sir David Beckham and Lady Gaga. I know what you’re thinking, “Lady Gaga? Isn’t that the sister of Garry Gaga?”

Yup, that’s the one. 

But here’s Garry’s sister talking with Golden Balls in an ad for . . . I don't know what. Regardless, I think they're doing a great job. 

Recently, the incomparable Zlatan Ibrahimovic showed us all how it’s done with the #MatrixChallenge. 

But tennis superstar Novak Djokovic may have one-upped the Swedish legend with his perfect response to the challenge on Friday. 

If you’re an American, there’s absolutely every chance that you missed Wednesday’s Carabao Cup Round of 16 fixtures . . . unless you called in sick, which would be grounds for an ESPN 30 for 30 documentary starring you. 

In case you haven’t seen all the obnoxious social media posts — like the one that probably brought you to this link — it’s Halloween. And while some of you have probably had your costume picked out since Nov. 1, 2018, most of you are probably still scrambling around to think of a costume for tonight or trying to think of reasons to stay inside, shut out all the lights and pretend you’re not home. So we’ve come up with some soccer-related last-minute Halloween costume ideas for you unimaginative, cheap and lazy folks out there (our prime audience, I’m sure).

Nutmegs — alongside cross-field rakers, back heels and an inordinate amount of step-overs — constitute one of the greatest forms of artistry in our beautiful game. The act of the nutmeg is equal parts illusion and imagination; it transcends the simple reality of moving the ball from Point A to Point B and replaces it with something sublime. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, a nutmeg tells us of beautiful, untrue things. (After all, a nutmeg is rarely ever a decisive moment.)

Normal chairs, like the one you and I are sitting in right now, are for suckers. They’re for losers who have never accomplished anything in their lives and probably never will.

Thrones, on the other hand, are for gods and kings.

Thrones are for legends like Diego Maradona.

So, to the surprise of absolutely no one, Maradona coached a league match from a throne on Tuesday, expertly guiding his team, Gimnasia La Plata, to a 4-0 rout of Newell’s Old Boys in Rosario, Argentina. 

Gareth Bale is still in the midst of a never-ending transfer saga at Real Madrid, but his focus isn’t on where he might be playing next.

Nor is Bale focusing on his play on the field.

Gareth Bale, 30, is mostly worried about what he’s going to do when he retires — golf and going unnoticed.

The second division of Germany, the 2. Bundesliga, seems to be one of those leagues that no one really cares about outside of Germany. But after a few weekend incidents, maybe we should be watching it more.

The first incident was a substitute giving up a penalty. You read that right: A substitute for Holstein Kiel gave up a penalty.