Humor

I love all things “Ted Lasso.” I don’t go to church, but if I did, I’d go to the church of Ted Lasso. Hell, it’s better for you than most organized religions. I watch each episode as they’re released at midnight ET to stay fully abreast of the series and avoid spoilers. So I was shocked this week to see a conspiracy theory sweeping across the internet, with people legitimately wondering: Is Roy Kent CGI?

My Spanish is a little rusty, but here is a snippet from a conversation overheard between a few El Salvadorian fans shortly before the country's World Cup Qualifier against the USMNT on Thursday:

Guy No. 1: "OK, here's the plan: step one — get a ladder. Step two — carry the ladder into the stadium."
*Pause*
Guy No. 2: "What's step three?"
Guy No. 1: "What do you mean step three? That's the whole plan, we take the ladder and bring it into the game. That's it."

Imagine after a bad day at the office you get questioned on what went wrong and then have some random person run up to you begging for a photo. Everyone will react differently, but I personally would react the same way that Virgil van Dijk did after his Dutch side drew with Norway 1-1 on Wednesday in World Cup qualifying.

Van Dijk’s day could have gone smoother as the big man had his finger dislocated trying to stop Erling Haaland’s opening goal.

It’s almost been 90 days since the raucous CONCACAF Nations League final in Denver between the USMNT and Mexico, but still just thinking about the atmosphere, the back-and-forth scoreline and the improbable ending is enough to give you chills.

The match was perfectly poised throughout, beginning with Tecatito Corona’s early opener and Gio Reyna’s first-half response, and continuing into the second half with Diego Lainez’s impressive strike cancelled out by Weston McKennie’s late towering header.

Cristiano Ronaldo has been at the top of the game so damn long that it’s impossible to remember it otherwise. His first Ballon d’Or was 13 years ago while he’d already claimed the Premier League Player of the Season the year before that, so for many millennials he’s been king for half a lifetime. 

But there wasn’t always a consensus around what sort of footballer he’d become, mainly because of the singular uniqueness of his early stylings.

One of the greatest stories in sports right now belongs to Major League Baseball, where the New York Mets have collapsed throughout August to piss away a spot in the playoffs. The fans at Citi Field in Queens have voiced their displeasure by booing the players, but players have responded by jeering their own fans.

After hitting a home run last Sunday, Javier Báez gave the fans a double thumbs-down gesture when crossing the plate — an action that was repeated by teammates Francisco Lindor and Kevin Pillar.

On the evidence of Sunday’s match at a packed Stade Auguste-Delaune in Reims, PSG is going to be a traveling circus this season. It really wasn’t any different before with Neymar in the spotlight, but there’s certainly a more partisan feel about it with away crowds not so much jeering Lionel Messi’s every touch as collectively willing more of them.

Brek Shea shirtless, jeans barely hanging on to the footballer’s chiseled abs. A model in lingerie, eyes glassy like she just ate too much Thanksgiving dinner. And a baby donkey, half-asleep and half-aware of the brunette stroking its neck. 

It is, perhaps, the greatest photo in MLS history. I’ll also accept worst photo of all time.

The above photo conjures so many questions.