Humor

Mongolia Keeper Records 11 Saves Against Japan, Still Loses 14-0

Waking up and looking at Tuesday’s schedule of international football, I couldn’t help but notice the final score of one match that had already finished out in Chiba, Japan. The Japan national team had put up two touchdowns — a fortnight of scoring — on Mongolia in World Cup qualifying. 

The 14-0 win isn’t the biggest in Japan’s history (15-0 over the Philippines in 1967), nor was it the biggest defeat in 190th-ranked Mongolia’s (15-0 to Uzbekistan in 1998). 

Trevor Noah Playing FIFA Against Ted Lasso (Yes, The Character) Was Pure Bliss

In my opinion, there was no more beloved character in 2020 than Ted Lasso. During a difficult year, his eponymous show on Apple TV+ was a joy to watch. The first season had everything you could want from a series during a global pandemic: laughter, heart and soccer. 

But Ted Lasso met his match on Friday, and that was another of 2020’s biggest stars: Trevor Noah. 

Sponsor Gives Ansu Fati New Car; He Doesn’t Have Driver's License Yet

Barcelona winger Ansu Fati became the new ambassador of the Cupra brand, and, as one of the benefits, he received a customized car. However, the 18-year-old still doesn’t have a driver's license, therefore he can’t drive his new car yet.

Ansu, one of the most promising youngsters at Barcelona, will receive the Cupra Formentor, whose lower-end car is priced at almost $50,000.

Meet Gabby, The Only Thing Capable Of Outpacing Kylian Mbappé

If you frequently use Twitter, then you know that a little Papillon dog named Gabby is trending once again. This speedy little dog stunned the world with her pace in 2019 and is once again on my timeline. The question must be asked, how fast is Gabby and is she faster than Kylian Mbappé?

The first thing to do in answering the question of how fast is Gabby is to review her 2019 footage. Gabby put on an electrifying performance at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. Dare I say this performance was equally as impressive as Mbappé's game against Argentina at the 2018 World Cup?

Lionel Messi’s Global Lookalikes, Ranked

Lionel Messi is incomparable. Even the most ignorant of viewers — say a jury of 12 totally clueless individuals charged with determining the Man of the Match award — would undoubtedly be able to pinpoint his singularity of style and ability after watching 90 minutes. Still, the Argentine’s not without his copycats. 

After all, the sincerest form of flattery is to grow a red beard, work your hair into a short quiff and purchase a $400 Dolce & Gabbana shirt that looks like an Ed Hardy design.

Este Pájaro Le Puso Huevos Al Náutico Vs. Vera Cruz Del Campeonato Pernambucano

En la jerga futbolera, sabemos que el concepto “poner huevos” es meter, correr y dejar la vida dentro de la cancha. Y un poco de eso es lo que se vio en el partido en que el Naútico venció 3-1 al Vera Cruz, en la jornada 3 del Campeonato Pernambucano, en Brasil. Los “huevos”, eso sí, no fueron un aporte de alguno de los 22 jugadores que entraron al Estadio dos Aflitos, sino que de un pájaro que interrumpió el juego para depositar a su futuro polluelo en medio del campo.

Por Mala Onda: Nahuel Guzmán Le Da Unfollow A Neuer En Instagram

Nahuel Guzmán tenía a Manuel Neuer como un colega serio y hasta digno de admiración. Hoy, sin embargo, el arquero de Tigres no puede verlo ni en pintura, al punto que dejó de seguirlo en Instagram. 

8 Footballers Who Made A Career Out Of Failing Upwards

Sometimes I wish that, through some glaring administrative error, I had been accidentally registered for the Ajax youth academy, even if it was just for one day. Then, in semi-good conscience, I could exploit that fact to have my own Wikipedia page, Transfermarkt profile and agent, allowing me to bounce around the world on one-year contracts — obviously being found out as total trash time after time — living my best life. 

Goalkeeper Unlocks The Power Of Spider-Man To Make The Craziest Save

For those who have watched the Oscar-winning Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, you know there are alternate dimensions out there with different Spider-Heroes. Until Sunday, the Spider-Man of our dimension had yet to reveal themself. 

We now know there is a Spider-Man in this dimension and he plays in the Polish Ekstraklasa. Frantisek Plach is a 29-year-old Slovakian goalkeeper who plays for Piast Gliwice in Poland’s top league. 

Our Writers Select Their Most Desperate Articles From Quarantine

March 12 marks a full year since soccer in the U.S. — and around the world — shut down over the Covid-19 pandemic. Though we’re not out of the woods yet as we race to vaccinate as many people as possible before new variants threaten to add to the dreadful death toll, it’s a time for reflection on the strange, difficult year that was. 

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