Humor

If I had a nickel for every time I wrote about fish soccer I would have ten cents, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice. I tip my hat to any readers who understand that reference.

Obscure nods to TV shows aside, I once again bring you the joys of fish soccer. This time around the humans are pretending to be slippery salmons seeking scoring success. Carlisle United, in England’s League Two, must have a child orchestrating the team’s recovery sessions. The players engaged in the most ridiculous “recovery” exercise I have ever seen.

Cristiano Ronaldo is a freak of nature whose abs could harness the power of Medusa and turn people to stone. He’s a fitness and fashion icon, debated G.O.A.T of the world’s most popular sport and has a past girlfriends depth chart for the ages. What is Ronaldo bad at? Is there anything us mortals could outperform the Portuguese god in?

FA Women’s Super League referee Lucy Oliver is in hot water after she made a critical error during Sunday’s match between Everton and Brighton & Hove Albion.

Oliver is receiving heavy criticism after she issued two yellow cards to Brighton forward Kayleigh Green but didn’t produce a red card. Oliver either forgot how to count up to two or had a major lapse in concentration. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and guess it was the latter.

Arjen Robben's trademark is probably his lethal left-footed finishes — most notably the curling far-post strikes he's converted so many times after cutting in from the right wing. But the former Bayern Munich winger might become renowned in the footballing world for his method of transportation to first team matches.

The Dutch legend arrived at FC Groningen's Eredivisie match against FC Utrecht on Sunday via a pair of wheels that many footballers are unaccustomed to.

Javier “Chicharito” Hernández’s time in MLS hit a new low on Sunday night as Mexico’s all time leading scorer was benched in favor of Colombian journeyman Yony González. 

To make matters worse, Chicharito finally appeared in the 50th minute but failed to make an impact, taking his scoreless streak to 422 minutes which dates back to the only goal he’s scored in his MLS career.