Injuries

As Jozy Altidore Goes Off On Toronto’s Medical Staff, We’re Reminded Of Our Favorite Altidore Story

On Monday, it was revealed that Toronto FC captain Michael Bradley would undergo surgery following a severe ankle injury suffered during the 2019 MLS Cup loss to the Seattle Sounders. Given the fact that it’d been 71 days since the final and with the club now reporting for preseason, news of Bradley being sidelined for approximately four months was met with confused anger throughout Toronto.

Spurs Face Dilemma Over Harry Kane Injury

Tottenham could be left without star striker Harry Kane until the start of next season, according to manager Jose Mourinho. Kane left Spurs' 1-0 New Years Day defeat to Southampton with an injury, revealed after scans to be a ruptured tendon in his hamstring. The North London side was initially hopeful Kane would be able to resume training in April, but Mourinho has now suggested that may be too optimistic. 

Aron Johannsson Trolls Himself In 10-Year Challenge

Rewind about five years and you'll find a name on the USMNT that most people have forgotten about: Aron Johannsson. People were excited about his potential and what the then 24-year-old could bring to the national team after scoring 17 goals and picking up 16 assists for AZ Alkmaar in the Eredivisie.

Since that season, Johannsson has struggled with injuries and has barely seen the field, not only taking him off the pitch but also off the USMNT, where he scored four goals in 19 appearances.

Eden Hazard Nutmegs Ref On Glorious Goal But Suffers Nasty Ankle Injury Shortly After

Tuesday’s Champions League Group A encounter between Real Madrid and PSG at the Santiago Bernabéu was pretty much meaningless. Both teams entered the match with Round of 16 qualification secured, and even a Real victory would do little to wrest top spot from PSG due to the Parisians’ perfect record thus far.

It’s Time For The Annual ‘Cristiano Ronaldo Is Finished’ Fall Article

It was always going to happen eventually — it’s just that nobody could’ve predicted how insanely long it’d take for age and the grind of professional sports to somewhat catch up to Cristiano Ronaldo. The 34-year-old has played 982 matches for club and country over the last 17 years, and although he remains decisive, indomitable and a catalyst for one of the world’s best teams, he’s beginning to show signs of what Louis C.K. referred to as “incurable shitty ankle.”

Raúl Jiménez Accidentally Kicks Someone Unconscious Then Apologizes After Scoring Late Winner

Raúl Jiménez was the first to react. 

The Wolverhampton striker’s boot had violently struck the head of Kenan Bajric of Slovan Bratislava while attempting a bicycle kick, and Jiménez immediately called for medical staff to come onto the field.

After 10 minutes, Bajric was stretchered off the pitch. Shortly thereafter, Jiménez was apologizing after scoring a critical late winner. 

If Any Of Manchester United's Front Six Get Injured, The Red Devils Go Back To Crisis Mode

Manchester United looked like a different team when it traveled to Norwich this past weekend. Despite the club’s lack of good penalty takers, the Red Devils put three goals away on a Norwich side that is struggling but is better than what the league table shows.

United has been missing Paul Pogba and Nemanja Matic for quite some time, and United’s midfield looked weak recently with the pairing of Scott McTominay and Fred with Andreas Pereira ahead of them. Anthony Martial has also been out for some time but returned to start the match.

Another Meaningless Brazil Friendly, Another Bad Neymar Injury

It’s easy to get cynical about the Brasil Global Tour sponsored by Chevrolet, which is simply adspeak for the series of globetrotting friendlies that the Seleção contests in between Copa Américas, World Cups and World Cup qualifying. 

In the preposterously bloated football calendar, nobody likes a meaningless friendly. But what’s Brazil supposed to do during the international break with no qualifying stage for the 2020 Copa América and with 2022 World Cup qualifying matches not beginning until March of 2021?

Daniel James Was Using 4D Shithousery To Fake Brain Trauma, Says Ryan Giggs

On Sunday, during a crunch Euro 2020 qualifier between Wales and Croatia in Cardiff, there was a terrifying moment in the 14th minute when highly touted Welsh winger Daniel James — somewhat stooping to win a header in the middle of the park — caught a flying knee to the back of the head from Croatian defender Domagoj Vida.

For The Hundredth Time, Gareth Bale Comes Up Clutch For Wales

Wales and Croatia played to a mutually beneficial draw on Sunday, with Nikola Vlašić’s ninth-minute opener canceled out by Gareth Bale just before the halftime whistle in Cardiff. Croatia remains top of a tight-knit Group E and can secure passage with a draw or victory against Slovakia on Nov. 16, while Wales is now on a collision course with Hungary on Nov. 19 in Cardiff (assuming the Dragons take care of business against Azerbaijan on Nov. 16).

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