Men

If you're a Bastian Schweinsteiger fan, please don't get your hopes up.

The German is back in Manchester United training, ending his strange exile from the first team. This doesn't mean he's going to play in a game any time soon, in fact some have speculated that Jose Mourinho is just letting Schweinsteiger train with the first team so he's fit when United try to sell him in January, which is sort of like the "fattening him up to eat him" of the footballing world.

A little over a week after Neymar put pen to paper on a new five-year deal with Barcelona, Real Madrid have announced that Gareth Bale has committed his future to the club by signing an extension running until June 30, 2022.

When Neymar first burst onto the world stage, he was only 18. So we gave him a pass for his actions, assuming he would grow up and stop flopping and starting fights as he got older. 

However it seems that he might never grow up, as, despite playing internationally for six years now, he is still apparently doing things like this:

Neymar pushes Granada's player down the stairs while approaching tunnel. pic.twitter.com/DjQWR8yYms

Last week, we implored the lot of you to look at Cristiano Ronaldo.

This week, we are imploring the lop of you to keep looking at him. He really wants you to.

Good night  pic.twitter.com/v9aHmCggSz

— Cristiano Ronaldo (@Cristiano) October 30, 2016

Warning: please do not continue reading this article or scroll down if you do not want to see a gross soccer fan butt. Thank you.

Cristiano Ronaldo continued his run of good form Saturday against Alaves, scoring three goals in a 4-1 victory.

One Alaves fan wasn't impressed, or maybe was really super impressed, or not impressed at all with his side's defending, or just really hot, or hot for Cristiano Ronaldo, or really confused and didn't know what else to do.

Pep Guardiola went six matches without a victory for the first time in his career. It started to become a concern for Manchester City, as their form dipped after starting the season with ten straight wins. 

Saturday, Manchester City beat West Brom 4-0, so it appears the worst of it is over.

Diego Costa has been one of the Premier League's best since joining Chelsea, and showed his class Sunday with yet another beauty. Watch as Costa bends it in from beyond the box:

VIDEO: Diego Costa's incredible goal. pic.twitter.com/wxictWMRdh

— Football Planet (@iFootballPlanet) October 30, 2016