Outrageous

Benfica, we get it. Soccer is hard. Sometimes, you can’t rely on player skill, tactics and good old fashion work ethic. 

So if these allegations are true, don’t be embarrassed that your rival Porto has outed you for using a witch to win the Portuguese Primeira Liga. Sometimes, you need a little help from beyond.

Witches, especially in America and the UK, get a bad rap. 

Claudio Bravo’s heroics in net for Chile yesterday made for can’t-miss television as the reigning South American champions dumped out Cristiano Ronaldo’s Portugal in the Confederations Cup semifinals. The gravitational pull of international soccer was at the height of its attraction as evidenced by this operating room taking the time to watch the shootout.

In recent years, the top division in China has slowly become a new locus of appealing, high-octane soccer. Some of this has to do with the big name stars the league has drawn in like Carlos Tevez, Alexandre Pato, Ricardo Carvahlo and a host of others. 

However, in the past couple weeks, it seems a different pattern is getting all the attention — the bizarre displays of violence and aggression that have unfolded on the field. 

Lionel Messi and Antonella Roccuzzo are set to marry on Friday, June 30 in a suburb of their hometown of Rosario, Argentina. Prior to the big day, the pair’s wedding menu, ermahgerd, leaked.

We’ve got some fine charcuteries for the Barcelona boys to dig into (soccer moms will tell you that not including Bagel Bites could make for a foul evening, especially with Luis Suarez in attendance), but it’s the Argentine empanadas that have got me all hot and bothered.