Premier League

Chelsea momentarily sits at the top of the Premier League table after defeating Southampton 3-1 on Saturday. The victory wasn’t as straight forward as the final score suggests as the Blues found the go-ahead goal in the 84th minute.

Chelsea’s third goal was perhaps one of the most bat-shit crazy goals I’ve seen in a long time. FIFA 22 was just released, and this Ben Chilwell goal vs Southampton looks like it came right out a video game.

Manchester United and Everton shared the points at Old Trafford on Saturday after drawing 1-1. The moment everyone is talking about is the Andros Townsend SIUUU celebration after the Everton forward leveled the game at 1-1.

The goal came off a fantastic Toffee counterattack that featured Fred getting bullied, a sublime finish and some Townsend shithousery. The celebration that followed was perfect.

LONDON - Jadon Sancho's lack of game time at Manchester United is "hurting the soul" of the man who sanctioned his $100 million move to Old Trafford, Borussia Dortmund CEO Hans-Joachim Watzke.

The 21-year-old England international has started only two of United's five Premier League games and was an unused substitute in the 1-0 defeat by Aston Villa on Saturday.

It took Arsenal only 34 minutes to effectively claim Sunday’s derby match against Tottenham at the Emirates thanks to early goals from Emile Smith Rowe, Pierre-Emerick Aubameynag and Bukayo Saka.

The young trio of Rowe (21), Saka (20) and Martin Ødegaard (22) danced through Tottenham’s static defense with an enthusiasm and desire that made Harry Kane look like a beached beluga, and it was Ødegaard, Saka and Rowe that combined on the opener in the 12th minute. 

⚪️ ¡ARSENAL YA GANA EL DERBI DE LONDRES!

SOUTHAMPTON - Wolverhampton Wanderers beat Southampton 1-0 at St Mary's Stadium on Sunday, extending the Saints' winless run to six Premier League games, after striker Raúl Jiménez scored his first goal in nearly a year.

The Mexican's solo effort in the second half was his first league goal since last October. The 30-year-old suffered a fractured skull the following month, prematurely ending his season and eventually requiring surgery.

Emi Martínez became an absolute legend during this summer’s Copa América. As Argentina’s keeper, he taunted and shithoused his way to a shootout victory over Colombia in the semifinals on the way to helping Lionel Messi claim his first major international trophy. On Saturday, Martínez was back at it, taunting Cristiano Ronaldo before the last-minute Bruno Fernandes penalty vs Aston Villa flew into the Old Trafford faithful. 

LONDON — An second-half goal from Gabriel Jesus earned Premier League champions Manchester City a deserved 1-0 win over Chelsea on Saturday and inflicted a first defeat of the season on Thomas Tuchel's side.

Jesus pushed the ball home with a deflection off Jorginho after a goalmouth melee in the 53rd minute following City's 10th corner of the game. It was the game's first shot on target.

The goal sparked the match into life, forcing Chelsea to attack, after a first half of intense pressure from City and attritional defending from the home side.

Manchester United are not being awarded penalties this season after a "certain manager" last term expressed concern they were being given too many, coach Ole Gunnar Solskjaer said on Friday.

Solskjaer criticised officials last week for denying Cristiano Ronaldo two "stonewall" penalties in the 2-1 league win at West Ham United.

Liverpool boss Jürgen Klopp earlier this year said United have had more spot-kicks in two years under Solskjaer than Liverpool have in his entire five-and-a-half year reign.