Premier League

Want To Earn $93,000 A Year As Personal Assistant To Jermain Defoe?

Jermain Defoe is in need of a personal assistant. And he's willing to pay £60k per year (~$93,500) for the right hire. The Sunderland striker put up an advertisement for the position that was, frankly, hilarious. 

Here are some of his potential personal assistant's duties (with snarky comments from us in parenthesis):

Marco Matias Scored A Goal That Might Win The Puskas Award

Sheffield Wednesday isn't a name people generally associate with amazing goals, and Marco Matias is a name that most people likely haven't even heard of, but Marco Matias scored a contender for goal of the year in Sheffield Wednesday's 1-1 draw with Leeds United.

Evidently the match had been fairly pedestrian before the goal, so match attendees should be glad Matias was there to make sure they got their money's worth.

VIDEO: Wycombe Wanderers Ballboy Restores Our Faith In Humanity

A lot of things these days work to take the fun out of watching soccer.

That's why we were delighted when we saw this video of the Wycombe Wanderers scoring a game-tying goal and celebrating madly with the ballboy. 

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain's Secret Second Career

If Arsenal have exhausted their summer budget and are forced to make some cuts to save money, they know where to find a pilot. 

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain may just be their best bet, as te took part in Arsenal's flight simulator challenge a few years ago.

La Liga Returns: Your Must-Watch Soccer Schedule For The Weekend.

Lionel Messi and FC Barcelona have had a weird last ten days.  Barca hoisted the UEFA Super Cup trophy in Tbilisi, Georgia on August 11th thanks to a 117th minute goal from Pedro that defeated a Sevilla team 5-4. Sevilla had clawed back from a 4-1 second half deficit to send the game into extra time.

QPR Barely Avoids A Fine That Could Put Them In Debt

Recently relegated English club Queen’s Park Rangers have dodged a Financial Fair Play sized bullet after claiming improperly counted losses. 

QPR reported a loss of just under 10 million pounds with roughly another 60 million pounds written off in loans. Whether or not the owners were aware that the 60 million written off in loans would count towards the entire total of 2013/14, the entire season’s losses totaled to roughly 70 million pounds. 

The Canary Islands Will Reap The Benefits Of Pedro's Transfer To Chelsea

Just off the western coast of Morocco lies a volcanic archipelago known as the Canary Islands. Despite its size, the Spanish-controlled territory has developed a locally based premier division called the Preferente which combines with the fifth division of Spanish football. Local Canary Island club Raqui San Isidro are becoming more popular by the day in the Preferente since Pedro’s transfer from Barcelona to Chelsea. 

3 Things That Have Jose Mourinho Looking Bewildered, And Chelsea Looking Bad.

However much Jose Mourinho may claim that last Sunday’s shellacking from Manchester City was "a fake," the bare facts are that Chelsea have played six games (two EPL, one Community Shield and three pre-season friendlies) thus far this season and haven’t won a single one of them.

So what, or who, is to blame for The Blues’ sloth-like start?

Chelsea Officially Sign Pedro. Here's How The Barca Winner Will Fit In.

Chelsea made the long-rumored move official on Wednesday when it made its first major addition of the summer by swooping in to sign winger Pedro for £21M from Barcelona. While the player must still pass his medical, the deal looks like it is officially done. 

This One Answer Is Why Memphis Depay Can Match Ronaldo’s Legacy

Memphis Depay’s confidence has been evident ever since he had his first official press conference for Manchester United. He owned the podium that day. “We have to play for the trophies,” he said, like he had to get so many loafs of bread. And that’s not to say he came off as arrogant, quite the opposite: he alternated often between admitting he needed to work hard and listen to his manager.

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