Premier League

This Magical Goal-Line Clearance Handed PSG Its First League Defeat Of The Season

With the Super Bowl chalking up its lowest-scoring game in history, it’s only fitting that Sunday’s European football action was dominated by some equally adept defensive displays (apart from Manchester City’s dominant, 19-shot performance vs. Arsenal). 

Humanity Is Getting Dumber, But Man City Remains Too Damn Clever

I recently read that humanity is getting dumber. Whether that’s because of unhealthy diets, garbage media, substandard schooling or the general inclination to never read anything, our habitation of a “stupidity-inducing environment” is causing the IQ of modern generations to plummet. But there’s hope, because here you are reading and here I am trying to not be garbage media man.

Everton’s Best Player Today Was A Black Cat

Everton hosted Wolverhampton in what could be described as a mid-table six-pointer if anyone cared about positioning in mid table (no one does). Wolves cruised to a 3-1 win as Raúl Jiménez scored his ninth goal of the season. Meanwhile the best player for the Toffees was an evasive Everton cat. 

Rúben Neves converted a seventh-minute penalty, Jiménez headed home just before halftime and Leander Dendoncker finished the match with a follow-up volley in the 66th minute as Wolves moved comfortably into seventh place, five points ahead of Everton. 

With One Brilliant Stroke Of His Right Foot, Higuain Showed He’s Got What It Takes At Chelsea

Gonzalo Higuain received his first Chelsea start on Wednesday, a bystander as the Blues were stomped by mid-table Bournemouth. Given another chance against Huddersfield Town on Saturday, the Argentine showed he may actually be the man Maurizio Sarri needs to turn Chelsea’s season around.

What On Earth Is Going On At Chelsea?

If you’ve paid any attention to Chelsea’s current Premier League season in comparison to last season, or the season before that, things seem odd. At this point in time last season, Chelsea was fourth in the Premier League table. Now, after Chelsea’s most recent loss to Bournemouth, the Blues have dropped to fifth.

Marouane Fellaini Is Leaving Manchester And Signing A Mega Deal In China

And just like that, Marouane Fellaini has gone from indispensable Manchester United siege tower — a man who could’ve put rivals City in “big, big trouble” — to Shandong Luneng. We shouldn’t feel bad for the 31-year-old Belgian because he’s reportedly signed a contract worth $12.5 million per year after tax.

Tottenham Ball Boy Draws Watford Yellow Card, Gives Fans A Wink

It’s not unusual for ball boys to become a part of a soccer match, as we’ve highlighted plenty of times before. Who can forget when Eden Hazard kicked an unflinching Swansea lad?

Huddersfield Town Winless Streak Officially Enters Third Month

It was another frustrating night for Huddersfield Town as the club fell to its 16th loss of the season to Everton and its ninth one-goal defeat on Tuesday, 1-0. 

The game marked Huddersfield’s new boss Jan Siewert’s first game of action.

Huddersfield drew at 1-1 last time the two played but the EPL’s best in the net, Jordan Pickford, managed to keep the Terriers scoreless in the rematch.

Pickford played magnificent with only two dynamic saves needed of him. 

Manchester City’s Title Defense Goes To Tatters Up In Newcastle

Pep Guardiola will not have enjoyed this. 

Last season, the Manchester City boss escaped his first-ever trip to St James’ Park with the narrowest of 1-0 victories. “We did absolutely everything but it is difficult to play when the other team doesn’t want to play,” said Guardiola after that one. 

Newcastle put 10 men behind the ball at all times, and City could’ve easily been up 4-0 inside 30 minutes, but a draw was almost snatched by Rafa Benitez’s men in the final five minutes. That particular footballing lesson stayed with Guardiola until today’s encounter.

After Finally Ponying Up The Cash, Newcastle Has Been Handed The Keys To Survival In Miguel Almiron

According to The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Sky Sports, Taylor Twellman and The Telegraph (so if Mike Ashley gets blackout drunk and firebombs the deal, don't blame me), Newcastle United and Atlanta United have finally agreed to terms on the transfer of Miguel Almiron to the Premier League.

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